The AnarchAngel

ANWR and the Automobile

From Francis Poretto:

The House of Representatives has voted to allow oil exploration and extraction in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR.) However, there are still some anti-energy-abundance types who refuse to confront the matter squarely:

Rep. Ed Markey (search), D-Mass., who offered the ANWR amendment, noted that the bill does nothing to improve the fuel economy of automobiles, which he said use 70 percent of the country's oil, and that it was wrong "to then turn to the wilderness areas and say we need energy."

An attempt to require automakers to increase fuel economy to a fleet average of 33 miles per gallon over the next decade was defeated 254-177.

Rep. Sherwood Boehlert (search), R-N.Y., a co-sponsor of the auto fuel economy proposal, said it would have reduce oil use by 2 million barrels a day — more than could be taken from ANWR — by 2020. He said it was "a bunch of nonsense" — as opponents claimed — that the increased fuel economy would cost the auto industry jobs, force consumers to buy smaller cars or reduce automobile safety.

Please note: anti-energy-abundance sentiment is not confined to Democrats. There are some mealy-mouthed Republicans, too. But apart from that, given that every study, whether conducted by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration or by private agencies, indicates strongly that raising the mandated fuel economy standards decreases the safety and utility of passenger cars, what else could opponents of oil exploration have said except that it's "a bunch of nonsense" -- ? Considering the fearsome rate at which Americans are abandoning the old standby sedan, cruelly shrunken by federal fuel economy laws, in favor of the sturdier, more capacious, more flexible sport-utility vehicle, they can have no actual arguments to offer.

Your Curmudgeon would dearly love to see one of the opponents of ANWR drilling confronted inescapably with the question: "Sir, given that every increase in oil and gas prices puts the very poorest out of work or out of heat, would you kindly tell us which Americans, by name, deserve to suffer that fate so a few hundred acres of barren tundra can remain untouched by Man?" But one should probably eschew unrealizable fantasies so early in the day.

YEAH ANWR DRILLING!!!!

Honestly, I'm of the opinion that we should use whatever resources we have to make us less dependent on foreign energy; even though ANWR will be a drop in the bucket, every drop helps.

I see nothing wrong with increased average fuel economy; I just have a problem with the government regulating it into being. Every auto manufacturer is trying to increase their fuel economy all the time, because its what the people want, and it looks better for them; but people wants SUV's which take down the corporate average.

The reasons people want SUVs are pretty simple: Style, and Space.

In the 50's style and space were king. They ruled over everything.

In the 60's they added POWER to the mix, and fuel economy was... well it wasnt even on the table. 7mpg wasnt a problem if you could do a burn out in fourth gear.

The 70's cars took everything that was good about 60's cars, took it out, and replaced it with "Fine Corinthian Leather". They still had space; but no style, little fuel economy, and seemingly negative power.

The absolute Nadir? The 78 eldorado weighed 6000 lbs, and had 140 HP.

The 80s cars all looked like they were designed by people who played too many video games; but they WERE getting more fuel efficient.

Basically every american car built between 1975 and 1987 was a piece of shit. There were a few exceptions (cop cars, the Grand National, and the corvette from '85 on for example), but for the most part they were ugly, unreliable, low quality, and only had middlin fuel economy to boot. But they still had SPACE, especially compared to their japanese competitiors, so we kept buying them.

The 90s cars all looked... well for the most part they looked the same.

I used to be able to tell you just about every make model and year at a glance. I could usually identify a car by their headlights in my rear view mirror. These days I can't tell the difference between a Chevy and a Nissan.

One of the reasons why Americans went so whole hog for SUV's, is because family cars didnt have any STYLE anymore. They all looked like soap bars with headlights. At least the SUV's actually looked like something.

During this same time period, American trucks jsut kept getting better and better. The Ford F150 has alsways been one of the top selling vehicles, and it jsut kept gettgin more so, until Ford was selling more F series and F series based models than all of their other vehicles combined.

The ford bronco was always a decent seller; but never a huge standout; the same for the chevy blazer, and the Suburban(which was mostly for BIG families, and contracters). The compact pickups were selling well; but the smaller SUV's were kind of ehhh.

Then came the Ford Explorer. I INSTANTLY became the best selling SUV on the market. It was bigger than the Bronco II it relaced, better looking, better driving.. hell it was generally jsut better.

Most important to MOSTof it's buyers, it was more carlike. They could get the space they wanted and it didnt have to drive (as much) like a truck.

Finally, the car companies had introduced SUV's that felt a lot more like cars, and the market jsut EXPLODED. People wanted style, and space, and SUV's had both; and they wanted vehicles that didnt really feel like trucks. The car companies figured out that basically putting decent car interiors in trucks, and messing with the suspension and steering; or just building a car with an SUV body on top of it (the toyota RAV 4 is mechanically Identical to a 1996 Celica with a beefed up suspension); would net you a best seller.

Style and Space.

The manufacturers loved it because SUV's are also by far the highest profit margin vehicles sold; even more so than high end luxury vehicles (which many SUVs are in their own right).

A fully kitted out Lincoln navigator runs in excess of 60k. I have been told by friends at Ford that to sell that truck at 0 profit the invoice would be somewhat less than 20k; primarily because it's made almost the same as a 35k Ford SUV, but with better paint and interiors.

I would attempt to make comparisons with like priced Amercian cars that offer full passenger accomodation, but there aren't any. The American manufacturers (excepting cadillac), have largely given up on the lower profit margin mid-range mid and full sized sedans.

The American manufacturers continue to make desultory swipes at the low end of the sedan market, but their offereings in this space are so poor; they need to offer multithousand dolar rebates jsut to get people to LOOK at the cars. Consequentially almost all of their sales are to fleets.

I should note, it's not jsut American cars that have this problem, japanese cars have no space or style either; but they are better in almsot every way to the American cars they are competing against.

They have no soul; which bugs me. I drive a 1990 BMW 525is because it has space, style, and soul. The door openings are a bit small; but I'm a big guy. I bought it because it was the newest E34 5 series (89-94) I could find in my area with a manual transmision. Oners love them, and either want unreasonably high prices; or they drive them til they die (since they last 20 years, not many of them have died yet). They're popular project cars, and in fact I'm planning on doing an engine swap for a 3.8 supercharged I6 to replace the 2.5 thats in there already. Should end up north of 500hp, and something in the low 5 second range high 4 second range for 0-60.

You can't do that with american cars anymore; at least not without a WAD of cash. Who would have thought that it would be the little imports that are the easiest and cheapest to work on; and have the most parts availalbe for them. Hotrodding isnt dead; it's jsut got no new American muscle to work with, so it's moved on.

Pontiac has @revived@ the GTO; or rahter theyve imported the overweight holden monaro from Australia and stuck a hopped up engine in it and CALLED it the GTO, but really it's jsut a salesmans car with a big motor.

Sure thats what started the musclecar revolution; but the thing is so bland that it's a sacrelige to call it a GTO. Even worse: though it's overweight, IT STILL has no space, and no style.

This whole issue has GM losing billions a year (for other reasons as well); and forcing it to eliminate Oldsmobile; with Pontiac most likely next on the chopping block. Pontiacs car selections are a universal disaster, and again without fleet sales (mostly to rental car companies) there would be NO pontiac at this point. The only thing GM makes money on are trucks, Corvettes, and Cadillacs.

Ford has done the same with lincoln and mercury, only selling a few models with each badge; mostly to fleets and to retirees who miss their fullsize cars of old. It's likely that ford will eliminate mercury altogether in the next few years.

Chrysler did the same with Plymouth, and Dodge pretty much just sells trucks, minivans, and the viper; with a few neons thrown in for good measure.

Chrysler seems to be the only company trying to turn things around in the mid and full sized sedan market, with the Chrysler 300, and the dodge magnum. They also do a brisk business selling Sebring convertibles; because they are the cheapest ragtop out there.

The Chrysler 300 is breaking sales records left and right; and while I personally don't care for the car, it should send a clear message to the American manufacturers:

Build better cars, with some style, and some space, and people will buy them. Keep building what you're building, and in 10 years you'll just be seeling trucks.

Daylight savings time

Theres just something that irritates me a bit.

I live in Arizona, which does not observe daylight savings time. Blogger understands how to handle this, but for some reason haloscan and sitemeter do not.

In order for the time stamps to be correct, I need to set my timezone to pacific time.

Hell I'd do the whole thing in GMT 'cept half you guys wouldnt understand why your comments were timstamped the next day half the time.

Yesterday....

Yesterday, Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger was officially elected supreme pontiff, and chose the name Benedictus XVI.

Yesterday was the most common date throughout history for Easter; since the adoption of the Gregorian calendar.

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the Oklahoma City Murrah federal building bombing (rot in hell Timmy boy; cant wait till all your friends are there with ya).

Yesterday was the 12th anniversary of the murder by federal officers of 86 Branch Davidians at Waco.

Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of the first raid on Randy weaver at Ruby Ridge. Weaver was entrapped into selling ATF agents two shotguns with barrels 1/4" too short; so that they could "flip" Weaver to act as an informant for the FBI, against white separatist groups in the area . Four months later he was raided again; when Weavers son Sam and his friend Kevin Harris stumbled on the FBI surveliance teams. During this raid Weavers wife, son, and dog were shto and killed; and weaver himself, and Kevin Harris were wounded.

Yesterday was my younger brothers 26th birthday (I love you Rob, even though you are an asshole).

Yesterday was the 44th aniversary of the betrayal of the cuban people by president Kennedy

Yesterday was the 54th anniversary of Douglas MacArthurs retirement. Old soldiers never die El Supremo.

Yesterday was the 62nd anniversary of the Warsaw Jewish Ghetto uprising being put down; on the eve of passover. It ended on May 16th in a massacre by poison gas. The last of the fighters were trapped in a few buildings, and some sewer tunnels. They flooded the tunnels with gas, and then went in and exterminated all but a few; who they saved for show trials.

Yesterday was the 67th anniversary of the first commercial television broadcast (they didn't know what they were starting).

Yesterday was the 109th running of the Boston Marathon

Yesterday was the 140th anniversary of Abraham Lincolns funeral.

Yesterday was the 144th anniversary of the first deaths of the civil war (a riot in baltimore).

Yesterday was the 181st anniversary of Lord Byrons death (live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse; and he definitely did).

Yesterday was Patriots day; the 230th anniversary of the shot heard round the world.

One if by land, and two if by sea;
And I on the opposite shore will be,
Ready to ride and spread the alarm
Through every Middlesex, village and farm,
For the country folk to be up and to arm.

Somehow a Beatles song just doesn't seem adequate.

Left of the dial

I jsut watched the HBO documentary "Left of the dial" about the foundation of Ari America.

I actually really liked the film; on two levels.

1. It was an interesting protrait about an ambitious and underfunded startup company.. something I know a little bit about.

2. Watching liberals go insane. It absolutely staggers me that these people believe what they do, say what they do, act as they do...

I mean... damn.

I'm not going to give spoilers, but I will say: Watch it, if only to know your enemeis better

Ignorant, Dumb, Stupid, Idiotic, Crazy, and Insane

In response to my "Bumd and Ignorant questions" post reader (and carnival of cordite host , thank you very much sir) Gullyborg responded:

I would switch the words dumb and ignorant.

My take: ignorance can be cured, stupidity cannot.

Therefore: the question you can be excused for asking is the ignorant one; the question you should be embarrassed for asking is the dumb one.

Really what we have is a semnatic issue. Ya see, ignorance has two connotations. The first, is willful or negligent ignorance; the second is simply uninformed ignorance.

When one is willfully or negligently ignorant, it means that the knowledge you should have had, was given to you; or you absolutely should have known where and how to get it. You then ignored that knowledge; hence the word ignorant.

In the second case, you simply didnt know; or didn't know you SHOULD know. Maybe you should have known; but you didnt either deliberately disregard information present, or willfully ignore it as in the more aggravating connotation above.

I usually separate the apparent lack of knowledge or understanding into a few different categories:

Willful or Negligent Ignorance: (as above) This is what I generally mean when I say ignorant. I have no tolerance or patience for willful ignorance. The worst part is, that often those who are wilfully ignorant are quite intelligent, they are simply blinded by personal motivations.

Ignorant of the facts: When someone is ignorant of the facts of a case, they will be wrong; and act wrongly; no matter how smart they are. Ignorance of the facts doesnt necessarily mean the person is wilfully ignorant, or stupid; it may jsut mean they havent had the opportunity to find out what the facts ARE, or that they have been told facts that aren't.

Dumb: This implies the knowledge you dont have is simple, or basic and that you should have it fairly easily; or that you acted or spoke inapropriately on knowledge you DID have, because you didnt think it through. Dumb doesn't mean you arent intelligent, but it means you arent smart; at least at that moment.

Stupid: Stupid implies you did or said something without any knowledge or consideration; or that if you had such knowledge and consideration your actions or conclusions were very inaproriate on their face. Stupid also implies that you may not have had the mental capability to understand what the right thing would have been.

Idiotic:Idiocy is when you do or say something that is both completely counter to the facts of the situation as they are known to you; you dont bother to find the facts out when the situation absolutely requires it; or you do something completely contrary to your own interests.

Crazy: Crazy doesnt necessarily mean mentally ill; it jsut means that what you do or say seem to have little connection in reasoning to the facts. The funny thing is, crazy sometimes works (and it's almsot always interesting).

Insane: Insane doesnt necessarily mean mental illness either; but theres no other rational explanation for what you did or said. Insane is doing something guaranteed to fail; because you think it's the right thing to do, even though all logic and reasoning and facts say no.

Now, here's my theory on human behavior as it relates to this.

I dont care who you are; be it the pope, or Marilyn Vos Savant; we all do or say:

• at least one dumb thing every day; usually several
• at least one thing ignorant of the facts a few times a week
• at least one really stupid thing every week... MAYBE if we're lucky just every month
• at least one crazy thing every month (or in my case every week)
• at least one willfully ignorant thing every few months (usually at holidays if nothing else)
• at least one TRULY idiotic thing every year
• at least one absolutely insane thing in our lifetime

Hell, it's all just part of being human.

THe problem is... well I think it was best expressed by Dennis Leary:

"Hey pal, God knows everyone has the right to be an asshole sometimes; but you're abusing the fucking privilege OKAY!!!!"

Child Porn

As y'all should know by now, I'm a security consultant. One of the things I do is investigate the mis-use of company resources.

There are some very unpleasant parts of this job. Often mis-use means finding evidence of employeess surfing child pornography. I find it... far more frequently than the most twisted mind here will probably believe.

Some people just dont understand that things you do on a computer can be illegal. They figure that somehow the rules don't apply there. In the case of senior executives, they often believe the rules apply to their employees, but not to them.

Now I'm not talking about a 16 year old here; as far as I'm concerned that Tracy Lords shit should be legal; and I'm not going to ruin someones life over consensual sex with a teenager. Even if a 40 year old fucking a 16 year old is distatasteful I dont think it should be a felony; they're going to be terminated for cause anyway, they don't need to go to prison as well.

No, I'm talking about adults having sexual intercourse with children as young as 3 or 4 years old.

I've seen things that would turn your stomach. I've seen things that inspired me to violence.; and that's a VERY difficult thing to do. I've seen very young boys and girls; toddlers really; forced to have sex with groups of men, animals, foreign objects...

I keep records of everything I've found, and when and how I've found it. I then report it to the FBI and the National Center for missing and exploited children WHETHER THE CLIENT WANTS ME TO OR NOT.

When I sign on to do one of these jobs, I present my clients with my code of ethics. In it I make clear that I will do nothing illegal for them; nor will I cover up or help cover up any illegal acts I have found. I will report any illegal act to apropriate authorities; but I will NEVER disclose naything I find other than to those authorities, or who they designate.

Some companies don't seem to understand that I ACTUALLY MEAN IT. I have been offered money, I have been threatened with lawsuits; I DON'T CARE. If I find child pornography, or evidence of rape, child abuse, or murder; I am going to report it to the FBI, and/or to local police.

I keep copies of what I have found, along with the reports I made to the FBI and NCMES; just in case they need them for evidentiary purposes. If after 90 days I recieve no response (about 2/3 of the time) I throughly destroy (through a secure shredding utility) the copies I made, but not the detailed reports describing it.

I often recieve spam that contains child porn solicitations. When I do, I take a look, and if it's really child porn, I do the exact same thing.

I have provided evidence that has led to the prosecutions of literally hundreds of individuals.

Guess what? I expect that at some point I WILL have a problem because of this. The FBI has run stings on private investigators of child pornography before, and then charged them with recieving, posessing, or distributing it.

The FBI has a program called innocent images, which has done some great work in helping kids; but they also do a horrible disservice to our freedom and our rights. They will deliberately send people spam containing child porn, then raid the persons house; and seize the computer searching for "evidence".

They have destroyed hundreds, if not thousands of innocent mens lives this way. Theres something VERY wrong about that.

So what the hell do we do?

I said earlier that about 2/3 the time I never get a resposne back from the FBI and NCMES about the incidents I report. Theres something VERY wrong about that.

So what the hell do we do?

Most child pronography on the net today comes from Brazil, Japan, Russia, and South and Souteast Asia. The FBI has no jurisdiction, and limited capability to do anything at all.

So what the hell do we do?

Well, even with the problems I ask you; report any child pornography you come across (and you will eventually if you spend enough time on the net) you report it to the law enforcement and the NCMES at www.cybertipline.com

Quotable Quotes

As you probably know by now Josef Cardinal Ratzinger has been elected Supreme Ponitff; and has chosen the name Benedict XVI.

I jsut saw this quote from NoR contributor DFWMTX:

"Fuck the liberals, fuck the progressives, GOD BLESS BENEDICT XVI!!!!!"

I like it; I like it a lot.

I think I might actually....

...be getting used to living in Phoenix.

It was just under 100 degrees INSIDE my condo today; and I didnt particularly mind.

My A/C has been inneffective for a few weeks. It's not completely out, but it definitely needs to be serviced. The problem is, my landlady lives in China (she's an engineer originally from China, who came here, turned christian missionary, and went back); and I have to go through this involved and irritating process where I contact her agent (who happens to be her cousin), who contacts her other cousin, who gets a message to the landlady in China, and then back again.

It's not so bad with an emergency, and I'm sure they'll get someone to me quick enough, but they are CHEAP; so I will probably get a bit of static. Nothing serious just the typical chinese grocery store type bullshit (they wouldnt be sterotypes if there wasn't some truth to them).

Now some may say "move if it's a hassle", but I like the place, I actually like my landlady and her cousin, and the rent can't be beat ($650 a month for a 1000sq ft 2 bedroom in a nice neighborhood in Scottsdale).

Anyway, the official temps around here have been in the high 80s to mid 90s for a few weeks now(96 today I think), falling back into the 60s nights; the actual temps I've observed on my I/O thermometer have been from 5-10 degrees higher (as is typical), but still not uncomfortably hot. The current bet among local weathermen is that we'll break the offical 100 mark in the last week of April; which is a little earlier than most years (1st to second week of may), but nowhere near the record (mid march).

Unfortunately anything more than the mid-70s at night, and I have an even bigger problem sleeping than I usually do. There's typically a 20-30 (and sometimes as much as 40) degree difference between highs and lows each day here; so I need to call and get it fixed soon.

Loooooong range shooting

In Magnum Opus, I said:

To my mind, if you can't take it with a .270, a .308, or a .30-06, then you can't take it with a 7mm, or any of the .2xx or 6.x magnums.

Welllll...... except some of the semi-wildcats like lazzeronis. He makes a 6.53mm (.257) magnum that puts a 120 grain bullet out to about 4000fps, and that will give you some RANGE. Basically he takes a .375 mag case and necks it down to take a .257 Roberts bullet. Of course it's still only a 120gr bullet so I'd still worry about an Elk or bigger with it; really it's just going to make the longer range shots on medium game safer.

And that's pretty much it right there; honestly, that's the only benefit I can see from the smaller magnums...

...Anything MORE than the 7MM, would really be overkill. You don't need a .300 win mag or a .338 for Elk (unless you want to go out past 600 yards), and there's nothing bigger than an elk that I'm going to be hunting. Really the only reason I'd even consider the 7mag is for the extra 100 yards of safe range it's going to give me on a beast the size of wapiti.

So, like I said, the real reason for the magnums isn't so much to get extra killing power, it's to maiintain reliable killing power at longer ranges.

In comments to that piece reader Gadfly Responded with:

The ballistics on the lapua are almost not to be believed. Have you ever tried one out? I would never try a shot over 300 meters, unless I had an ideal set, but it would be nice to know you had a 1000 meter weapon.

I've fired a McMillan in .338 a few times, and yeah, it's a pretty sweet chambering; of course you feel every ounce of it, even in a 14lb gun.

Oh and the $4000 price tag doesn't help either; but hey, you get what you pay for.

To clarify, I'm talking about the .338 Lapua magnum; a semi-wildcat chambering that was developed specifically for long range tactical shooting (sniping, counter machine gun fire etc...). It's a pretty damned impressive round, neatly brdiging the gap wtween the .300win mag, and the .50 BMG.

The .338 was originally developped by wildcatters in America, but the Finnish company Lapua took a look at it (because the finnish government was looking for a new sniper rifle), and thought it would be an ideal sniper round, and decided to make it a factory offering; making a deal with Accuracy International to supply rilfes in the (now factory supported) chambering.

Their thinking paid off. With factory support behind it, the .338, now named the .338 lapua magnum; rapidly became the long range chambering of choice for tactical shooters, and long range benchresters alike.

Here's an exceprt from "The American Hunter" magazine talking about it's salient properties:

Its performance curve lies much closer to the big .50's. It carries 3,452 ft.-lbs. to 300 meters, compared to 1,438 ft.lbs. for the .308 Win. at the same range. At 1,000 meters the .338 yields 1,308 ft.-lbs., the .308 just 221. The Lapua bullet drops 13 inches at 300 meters, 370 inches at 1000. The .308 bullet strikes 16 and 506 inches low at those respective distances. Snipers needn't compensate as much for wind with the .338 Lapua, either. Its bullet drifts less than half as far as the .308's in a 10-mph wind. While you must tolerate more rifle weight and recoil with the Lapua, this .338 has much less kick than an untethered .50 BMG.

To my mind, there's no such thing as a gun that's reliable much over 1000 meters; my definition of reliable in this instance being a gun that will put 10 rounds into an 8" circle (about .8 MOA).

Sure there are individual god guns that will do 1/4 MOA at 1000m; but as a general rule for the chambering, not even a match .50 is that precise past 1000m. Even McMillan says their match .50's are .5 moa at 1000m, under ideal circumstances, with perfect ammo; and McMillan are the best (AI folks may dispute that, but it's a difference so small as to be unmeasureable).

Most quality .50's not in the McMillan/AI territory, are capable of between 1 and 2 MOA at 1000m; Ronnie Barrett for example quotes under 1moa for some models, under 2moa for others.

Of course the .50 in general is viable well past 1000m; because it's very heavy, aerodynamic bullet retains velocity and stability (and cross current resistance) out to between 1500 and 2000m. The .50 just isn't reliably precise by the standard listed above at those ranges (again, individual god guns notwithstanding).

The .338 however is probably the MOST precise long range chambering out to 1000m; in the right gun it IS reliably that precise (or significantly more so).

The long range match rifles the Army and Marines use in that chambering are capable of 1/4 - 1/2 moa out to between 800 and 1000 meters, and will maintain 1/2 moa maybe just a touch beyond out to 1200. Past 1200 though the precision falls off rapidly as the bullet is too light to retain velocity and cross current resistance, in comparison to the .50.

Added to all these advantages; is that the .338's weigh a hell of a lot less, and KICK a hell of a lot less than the .50 does. A high end .338 sniper rifle is going to weigh between 10 and 15lbs. That same quality and configuration of rifle in .50 (say from McMillan, who makes similar rifles in both chamberings), is going to weight more like 30lbs; and even with the extra weight there's still something between 2 and 3 times the felt recoil impulse with the .50.

Of course I'm nowhere NEAR good enough to make use of this capability:

With good optics, I can generally make solid hits out to 600 meters (my longest kill shot ever was over 600), nothing like 1/2 MOA, or even 1 MOA, but good enough to guarantee a kill. The fact is though, I'm just not still enough for anything beyond it. I can make those 600m shots with an accurized M14, or Rem 700 in .308 without too much difficulty, but even behind a $4000 McMillan in .338 I can't do anything much beyond it; it's just about the natural limit of what my body will let me do.

Without optics I can get a good chest shoot at about 300, but I'm not really seeing my target properly at that point; I really need to keep it under 200, and prefer keeping it to 100.

Heck, at 100 I can still group decently with good iron sights (gotta be a peep/diopter), at 200 and 300 it's more like a pattern. Though I was good enough to max out expert in qualification, and snag an SAE ribbon (with device no less; I did the same for pistol), that's really not saying much.

I know a bunch of sniper types; let me tell you those cats are unnaturally still; which is what you need for 800-1000m riflery. You have to absolutely control every motion your body makes, including your heart beat and respiration.

I can do the trick; slowing down your heart and breathing, then firing between beats; but even then, I still can't reliably hit anything beyond 600m

A little more of the logic of chambering selection

Reader gadlfy comments on Magnum Opus , saying:

I grew up with my .270. Perfect for almost all North American game. You can shoot close and not tear up a whitetail, or you can reach out for a long shot and still have enough moxie on the bullet for an elk (I was turned on to the round by my elk-hunting uncle).

My first real hunting gun that was MINE, that I bought; was a Rem 700, stainless synthetic in .270. I think it's just a great chambering; and one that I prefer to almost any other. After I bought it I started Reading Jack O'Conners old stuff, and others, and I came to agree, it's the best all-rounder standard bolt action chambering.

The reason why I would probably go with .308 though, is for ammo commonality. I already have a .308, and several thousand rounds of ammo for it; plus I plan on reloading it.

I know the .270 is sufficient for elk with the right load selection, and at the right range (and really the .308 isn't beyond 250 yards or so), but it's just not quite where I feel comfortable with it. I'd like that extra 100 or so yards of safe killing range that the magnum is going to give me.

Given that, I really do think if i decide to go for elk again; that I'll buy a 7mag. The new .270 mags (theres three of them I think) are interesting; but ballistically they seem to offer little advantage over the plain .270, and a slight disadvantage(in bullet weight selection) to the 7mag.

The various .300 mags, (including the short mags) are also interesting; and with some of them I can share bullets with the .308 if I decide to reload; but other than the .300 win mag theres a cost issue (the .300 is about the same cost as the 7mag), and the .300 is significantly harder kiciking than the 7.

The thing is, I don't see enough ballistic advantage in either the short mags, or the .300 mags over the 7mag to compensate for the extra recoil and/or the ammo cost and distribution issues. I like to follow the wal-mart rule on ammo: if you can't find it at your local wal-mart, it's not a chambering you want to depend on as your field gun; and 7mag is the most popular centerfire magnum rifle caliber in America (with .300 win mag right behind it).

I'm willing to be convinced, but thus far no-one is really arguing against me.

Magnum Opus

There's an interesting discussion going on over at the Nation of Riflemen forums about the utility of various magnum rifle calibers.

The last five years have seen the re-introduction of half a dozen old magnum chamberings, and probably two dozen new one's, almost all of them in the sub .300 caliber category. Realistically, I don't think theres any ballistic advantage to any of them, because all they are really doing is taking a fatter case, making it shorter, and necking it down further to get the same results as existing calibers (magnum or non). This is supposedly more efficient, and it allows for a slightly smaller gun (by about 1/2" or so, or 1" for the ultra short magnums), but again, where's the utility in these chamberings?

To my mind, if you can't take it with a .270, a .308, or a .30-06, then you can't take it with a 7mm, or any of the .2xx or 6.x magnums.

Welllll...... except some of the semi-wildcats like lazzeronis. He makes a 6.53mm (.257) magnum that puts a 120 grain bullet out to about 4000fps, and that will give you some RANGE. Basically he takes a .375 mag case and necks it down to take a .257 Roberts bullet. Of course it's still only a 120gr bullet so I'd still worry about an Elk or bigger with it; really it's just going to make the longer range shots on medium game safer.

And that's pretty much it right there; honestly, that's the only benefit I can see from the smaller magnums.

Now, once you get into the .300 and above magnums, that's a different story. They carry some respectible bullet weights, at very high velocities; but you pay for it in recoil, gun wear, and ammo price.

With a large magnum, you also lose the ability for quick followup shots, unless you really are a recoil Rhino (I AM one). The felt recoil of a .300 win mag, is SIGNIFICANTLY higher than a 7mm magnum, and the 7mag is; generally speaking; where most people start to say "ouch, I don't want to shoot that again".

I'm ashamed to admit I don't have a hunting rifle right now, (though I'm sure my M14 could do an admirable job of it). When I buy new hunting rifle, I wan't something light weight, but in a respectible caliber, that I can throw over my shoulder for hunting in the scub hills and pine forests of the mountains of northern AZ, Utah, New Mexico, and Colorado (the places it will be easy for me to hunt). You have a mix of LOOOONG range shots (I know guys who take 600+ yard shots every season), and under 100 yarders here, because the terrain is so varied.

My first choice is probably going to still be a .308 here (for ammo commonality and availability), though I have a strong attachment to the .270; but in either case, I'd want to keep my shots to 300 yards, and I don't think I'd use them on elk. Yes a .30-06 is going to give me more bullet weight options than either, but I have a lot of experience shooting the .308, and the .270 at medium game at 300-400 yards; I DON'T have a lot of experience with the '06 at anything like long range.

I think my number choice for MY mountain rifle is going to come down to something like a Remington 700 mountain rifle, a Winchester Model 70 featherweight, or a Weatherby Vanguard Sub-MOA ; or maybe if I can afford it, a Rem 700 Titanium . I'll be going for a matte stainless, matte blackened stainless if possible, and a composite stock, because I want all weather utility, and something damned near indestructible.

Basically all of these guns are available in... well just about any caliber I want, thoguh some versions arent in some calibers etc...

If I decided to go for elk, I'd probably still go for a nice lightweight rifle, but I'd pay the recoil and ammo cost penalty, and move into a 7mm mag. Yes, the .270 and .308 CAN and have taken many Elk, but I'd want jsut a LITTLE more insurance, just in case. In this class are also the .270 short magnums, and those seem like they may be useful choices, but I dont really see any advantage over the 7mag; where they share bullet weights (up to about 150gr), the .270 has a 10-40fps advantage, but the 7mm has factory loads available up to 175gr.

Anything MORE than the 7MM, would really be overkill. You don't need a .300 win mag or a .338 for Elk (unless you want to go out past 600 yards), and there's nothing bigger than an elk that I'm going to be hunting. Really the only reason I'd even consider the 7mag is for the extra 100 yards of safe range it's going to give me on a beast the size of wapiti.

A .308, or a .270, or an '06 for that matter (with a hot 200gr load for example) would probably do the job just as well up close; but you dont often get the chance to be within 300 yards without spooking the bastards, so that extra range is useful for Elk.

I think the biggest caliber I'm going to pick for game is the .300 win mag; and really I can't see a situation where I would be able to use it's additional capability over other options. If I were a tac team sniper I'd seriously consider it, and the .338 lapua magnum; becuase they are the ideal sniper cartridges at extended range, but I know my limitations. I wouldn't feel comfortable taking a shot on a deer or elk sized animal at over 600 yards; which is the farthest I've ever made a kill at, and also the farthest I can reliably shoot out to with good optics. I've made 800 yard shots, but those are far more luck than anything else; I can slow my heart rate and breathing down sufficiently, but I'm just simply not that still. The guys who can make those shots all day long are inhumanly still in their muscle and nerve structure.

Realistically, unless you are hunting bighorn at 500+ yards in high plains, or taking long mountain shots (and they ARE fairly common here in AZ, but I'm not going to be taking them); or of course going after Ursus Horriblus; I just don't see the need for anything over a .300 win mag anywhere in North America.

Dumb questions, and ignorant questions

On the forums that I moderate there are a lot of folks who ask a lot of dumb questions, and a few folks who keep asking ignorant questions... A dumb question is where the question itself is basic or should be obvious, but you don't have the experience or resources necessary to answer it for yourself. An ignorant question is one that you have no right not knowing the answer to; either because it's already been given to you, or because it is so easy to find out.

When you ask a dumb question, you are just trying to learn; and the answers to dumb questions usually point you in the right direction for more learning on your own. I have a near unlimited tolerance for dumb questions, because answering a dumb question genuinely helps the person who asked it, and it isnt a huge amount of time and effort on my part to do so.

When you ask an ignorant question, you are insulting the people you are asking, because in effect you are saying "My time isn't worth wasting on making the effort to find out the answer to this, so I'm going to waste your time and effort to do it for me".

I have ZERO tolerance for ignorant questions. Answering an ignorant question is just an even bigger waste of time; because the person who asked it is not going to make any use of it, and will inevitably return with another ignorant question.

Gravatars

In theory I've enabled Gravatars, but they don't seem to be showing up.

Also, Haloscans server clocks seem to be WAY off....

Anyway, hopefuly both will be fixed in time.

The REAL ER - Update

My mother was released thursday night, so she could see her neurologist Friday. Unfortunately he wasn't available, but over the phone his partner told her to ABSOLUTELY NOT TAKE the medications the idiot at the other hospital had prescribed her.

The pain was actually getting worse, and the nausea was at least as bad, so she asked what she should do. The partner said that she should check herself in to a different hospital, a little farther away, so they could run some tests; and that they would call ahead so they were waiting for her when she got in.

So my mom calls me up at 9:30 last night saying "ok they told me to go to the ER"; I told her, it's 9:30 on a firday night, every er in town is going to have a multihour wait, call the ambulance or at least make sure they called ahead and get the local medical transport company to take you, we don't want a repeat of last time. I also told her to call me when she was admitted with her room number because they wouldnt let me go with her or see her at this time of night if she went in by ambulance.

Well surprise surprise, she didnt call an ambulance. I waited up all night for her to call, and finally passed out around 6am (remember, I havent had more than 2 hours sleep since this started monday night).

I was woken up two hours later by my aunt Allison calling for an update; she had spoken to my mother and grandmother who had told her "oh it's nothing" (you can see where she gets it), and she wanted the real story. After talking with Alli for a while (I should mention, all but one of my aunts and uncles were from 13-19 when I was born, they're more like my older brothers and sisters), I called my mothers cell... no answer. Ok, not exactly surprising, so I called the house... nothing. I'm not exactly worried at this point, just a little put out, but by 11 after calling a couple times I finally fell back to sleep.

1 o'clock rolls around, and I get a call from my moms phone "oh I need to go to the emergency room now" -- "Jeez ma, what happened last night?" "oh well I was hoping it would get better overnight and I wouldnt have to go, and it's jsut getting worse and worse.

I told her to call an ambulance again, but she assured me "They're waiting for me, the Dr. called ahead".

Now remember, it's 30 miles between me and her, 30 minutes with no triffic, over an hour with, and for some reason there was a lot of traffic. By the time I get there she can barely stand up AGAIN.

"You're sure your Dr. claled ahead, and theyre jsut going to take you right in right" "Oh yes", "and you're sure this is the hosptial we're supposed to go to right, we're not supposed to go to St. joes (the nerulogical institute is there" "Nope, this is where they told me to go".

So we went to the hospital, and let me tell you what a HUGE difference it was.

There was still a 4 hour wait for general emergency room care, but the second I described the symptoms she was having, and her history, they took her back right away.

It turns out her Dr. HAD prepared admission for her the nhight before, but when she didnt sho up by change of shift, they through everything out, so they took her in the er, and had a Dr. examine her. From the moment we hit the door, til when she was in the bed was no more than 20 minutes, and they put the line in and monitors on her right away, drawing blood for whatever tests right away as well. The guy doing the stick was honest, and accurate, he said "it's going to be five minutes til this, and another 15 minutes til this", and he did the job professionally and well.

There was something about his manner that just said military to me, so I asked, and yeah he was infantry in Gulf 1, and became a nurse after he got out. We both said a fuck you Clinton together.

Anyway, he said it would be 15 minutes before the Dr. came in, and right on the money he was there. This time th Dr. clearly gave a damn, and actually knew what he was doing. This one WAS young, dedicated, and a trauma doc, not some washed up burnout.

The VERY first thing this guy did was ask her about her pain, and he went right away, and got her meds himself, back within 5 minutes.

Let me say this, the most important difference in this whole experience, is that the staff made an effort to make sure you knew what was going on, and to make it clear they werent ignoring you, and were responding as fast as they could. That makes a HUGE difference.

The NEXT thing he asked was to verify all her dr's names, because he was getting them on the phone right after he finished talking with us (and he did, but it took him a while to get the docs on the phone); meantime he said that unfortunately this facility wasn't equipped to deal with amjor neuro issues, so if they found something,, they would immediately transfer her to St Joes. He left then to get the other docs on the line. Every few minutes the nurse checked in on her, and when she reported her pain control and nausea control were ineffective, he chaged the nausea med, and gave her a much bigger dose of demerol, which brought her down to a 7-8.

She told this to the nurse, and he said plain straight "If you're pain is this bad, we're probably not going to be able to really control it here and now. We're giving you as much as we can without threatening your pressure and your respiration (her BP was 95/55 already), but we're gonna do what we can to at least take the edge off".

Again, nobody wants to hear that, but honesty is a hell of a lot better than lying about it, or just ignoring it.

Anyway the Dr. came back, and said "Ok, I've talked to your neurologists office, the covering doc says she wants us to do another CT, and a lumbar puncture (aka spinal tap), jsut to make sure, and if they're clean we're gonna send you home tonight, and you can see your neursurgeon on monday so he can look at the aneurysm; otherwise we'll transfer you to St. Joes right away. Unfortunately, we really can't figure out what wrong here, and we're not equipped to do anything more diagnostically. We can help your pain a little, but I dont think there's much else we can do".

Again, this is EXACTLY what SHOULD have happened on tuesday after my mother was in the other hospital overnight, rather than them keeping her two more days and doing NOTHING. Then she could have seen her neurologist and neurosurgeon on wednesday, and maybe have figured out what's wrong, instead shes spending the entire week in pain...

It only took 90 minutes from the time we walked in, til he told us this, and he worked the case properly, with a nurse coming in to check on my mother every 15 minutes, and them giving as much pain control as they could without depressing her system too far.

So, they did her CT, which took a while; or rather the CT itself didnt take long, but it didnt get done til after 8 pm because of the queue, and it was clean, so the set up for the spinal, which they did around 9:30, and we waited for the labs.

It was about two hours before they came back clean, and they wrote a DIFFERENT anti nausea scrip (compozine this time, but in pill form, because the fenergen wasnt effective), and sent us home. We walked out the door at a few miunutes past 12.

Now from beginning to end that was about 8 hours, and they got to the same point that it took the other hospital 4 DAYS to get to; providing better care, and more and better information the whole time. Although they weren't able to help , they were responsive, and made their best and msot timely effort, which is all you can really ask of someone. Even though you could see how stretched they were (when we left the charge nurse told me that the low priority people in the ER would be 6-8 hours), they still provided quality care.

Oh and one of the good thingsa about scottsdale, although the ER was definitely over full, very few of the people in it were illegal mexicans. The Scottsdale police are pretty much assholes about rousting people they dont think belong there. Is it racial profiling? You bet it is; but it also keeps the crime way down, and the hospitals have a far lesser problem with illegals and indigents.

Am I an asshole for thinking that? Hell yes, and I'm glad to be. If it means my life, and my mothers lives are better because of it, I don't give a shit. The illegals are jsut that, illegals, and while I don't think they should die in the street, THEY SHOULDN'T BE HERE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE.

NOTE: For anyone in the area, the hell hospital is Paradise Valley Hospital, and the hospital we were at today (well, yesterday) was Scottsdale Shea Medical Center.

All that said, next time I'm just taking her to St. Joes. It's 25 miles from her house (a lot closer to my place than hers actually), but they have all her records there, her neurosurgeon, pain control person, and neurosurgeon are there etc.. I don't know why her doc didnt just send us there in the first place.

Sorry bloggings been light

I'm sure you've noticed, my priorities have been with my mom

Happy Slave to the State Day

Well folks, it's April 15th, the due date for your federal slavery reports; hope y'all got your shit done so the JBT's don't destroy your life.

Remember, taxes are slavery

Such is life eh...

The Real ER - She's home

I took my mom home last night; or rather I took her to the pharmacy for the several hundred dollars worth of useless medications prescribed to her by the incompetent doctor who was trying to prove she actually did something.

Of course of the five scrips that she wrote, three of them were wrong; one the wrong dosage, one no dosage at all, and one improperly written.

She's going to talk to her REAL doctors today.

Oh, and one of my moms nurses was flirting with me. Cute, a bit heavy, but she seemed nice... what the hell, I left her my number.

Two months...

Well, I wrote my first post on this blog two months and a few hours ago.

In that time I've scored about 22,000 unique visitiors, and 41, 000 page fiews. Depending on how many hits I get from this weeks carnival of cordite I'll probably hit the 25,000 mark some time next week.

Unfortunately during this time the TTLB system has become completely useless, and technorati has gotten even more so. Blogger has frutrated my deisres several times, prompting me to consider other options.

Of course all these services are free, so what the hell am I bitching about right?

Y'all have seen some fairly messed up stuff in jsut the last few weeks... stick around, it gets better; or at least more interesting. My life truly is a weirdness magnet.

The plan? Keep crankin out the good stuff, avoiding the bad stuff, and minimizing the mediocre stuff.

Lots of stuff there really.

Cheers guys, hope you're all having fun.

The Four Point Draw

After my griping in FTQ, a reader has asked me to clarify the four point draw, so here goes...

There are a couple ways of teaching the four point draw. One is what I would call the hip draw or the tilt draw, the other is generally called the FBI draw.

The method used for the hip draw (As used at my club):

1. Place your hand on the gun, and establish your grip

2. Draw the weapon; immediately as the muzzle of the weapon clears the holster, tilt the muzzle forward. This puts you in hipshooting position.

3. While maintaining forward orientation; keeping your elbows tucked in, bring the weapon to the midline of the body in the center of your chest, meeting it with your support hand and establishing your support hand grip.

4. Push the weapon straight out from your body with your support hand in position.

I have a few problems with this draw pattern:

First, it involves an unnatural and unsupported motion immeditately from the holster.

Second, and for me worse, it assumes a stance with your feet and sholders square, and naturally positions you into modified isoceles.

Finally, it assumes a strongside outside the waistband holster positioned at or just in front of the midline of the body, with a holster mouth at or below your beltline, and without a strong forward cant. These attributes are common in duty and competition holsters, but concealment holsters typically ride higher, and are closer to the body, making this draw awkward.

This is a draw pattern frequently used by competitive shooters because it IS slightly safer on the range (the muzzle is pointing downrange instead of at the ground, or behind the shooter), and because it establishes their grip and stance for them as they draw; good things all.

I prefer a different 4 point draw technique entirely called the FBI draw, or the armpit draw.

1. Establish your grip on the gun, confirming the hammer and safety position by feel as you do. Grab your shirt under your support side pec with your support hand. This will both clear the shirt away from the holster, and position your support hand for later.

2. Draw the weapon straight up, until your arm is folded double, keeping the weapon, and your elbows tucked into your body, you dominant elbow behind you, not to the side. Some people call this "drawing into your armpit".

3. Pivot your whole arm from the shoulder, which will bring the gun up into line with your pec, pointing downrange, just in front of your chest. As you pivot your arm, release your grip on your shirt with your support hand. Your support hand will naturally tend to meet your dominant hand, and being to establish your support grip. Sweep the safety off as your support hand comes to bear.

4. Push forward, indexing your support grip as you go, and establishing your thumb index.

This draw is designed with a few things in mind:

First, it is meant to be performed from the standing combat stance, or the combat crouch. In the standing combat stance, you place your body at a 30-45 degree angle to your subject, and off his midline to your weak side. Your knees will be bent, your torso positioned slightly forward with your shoulders over your knees. This presents a smaller target to your attacker, and allows for more balanced, rapid, and stronger motion on your part. A combat crouch simply exaggerates this position.

Second, it keeps the weapon closer to the body at all times, and reduces the ability of a subject to hook an arm, or knock a weapon from your grasp (weapon retention).

Third, it allows for behind the point of the hip, and very high carry, as well as IWB carry

Fourth, and very important to me, it naturally puts you into a modified weaver stance, which is how I prefer to shoot.

Finally, it is a natural and supported motion in each step. There is no wrist pivot at an unnatural angle at some difficult to feel point. You dont have to think about when your gun is actually clear of the holster, because you are bringing your gun as high as you can right away. This has the added benefit of clearing obstructions.

It has two disadvantages as compared to the hip draw. One, the gun spends more time close in to the body with the muzzle pointed at the ground. If there is an AD/ND/UD at the point, it could cause you to be hit in the leg or foot. Also, if your holster has a strong forward cant, the muzzle will be pointing behind you for the initial phase of the draw (though it will be pointing straight down a fraction of a second later). This is not as safe while on the range as pointing downrange from the hip, though in a potential mixed threat environment it is SAFER.

I don't like the hip draw, I don't use the hip draw, and I dont practice the hip draw. Generally speaking I practice the FBI draw, and I have established muscle memory in that pattern. I mentioned this to the instructor at the club, who still wanted me to do it the clubs way.

I also often use another draw type, called the speed draw, slap draw or natural draw. It's a fluid motion draw that is hard to quantify into discrete steps, but it's a little something like this:

1. Reach below and behind your weapons grip with your palm and fingers slightly cupped, "slapping" your hip or ass

2. Sliding along your body, pull up, establishing your grip, and checking the safety with your thumb. Make the same sympathetic motion with your support arm.

3. Pivot your arm out, allowing the weight of the gun and your natural motion to extend your arm, so that you are in shooting position by the end of your arc. You support arm will naturally tend to make the same sympathetic motion, meeting your hand just before you establish sight index, allowing you to establish your supporting grip.

This draw pattern has only one real advantage, it's fast. It is definitely not as safe, as secure, or as consistent a draw as either four point draw. It relies on natural motion, which is both comfortable, and fast: but it's not necessarily consistent.

In order to ensure both speed, and consistency of any of these draw patterns, muscle memory must be established. This taked a minimum of between 1500 and 5000 repitions to begin establishing, and will not be firmly set until from 20-50,000 repitions have been performed.

The problem is, one you have established muscle memory, you will tend to do it that way every time (which is the point). If another method is asked of you, you WILL be awkward and slow in performing it, and your results will be sloppy and inconsistent.

Buy a Gun Day - Sort Of

Well I found out what took HK so long to get me my gun.

I sent my USP compact .45 in for repairs February 8th, and was told that the slide repair wouldnt be covered under my warranty, and would be $300 + labor to repair. I didn't have the cash to get it done at the time so I told them to hold on to it, then finally got them the money, and the gun was supposed to be back to me at the end of March.

Well the gun arrived back from HK today, and it's pretty much a brand new gun.

HK replaced every part of the gun but the frame, barrel, and slide stop lever. Did it need it? No probably not, but there was a notiation "Test fired, trigger engagement felt loose, inspected, loose roll pin, replace sear, trigger, springs, tuned trigger".

Basically the HK gunsmith didnt like the way the trigger felt, so he replaced it. It took them an extra week from that test firing to get the parts in, and fitted(April sixth according to the paperwork), though it was supposedly shipped last thursday so I don't know why it took a week to get to me.

On the same page another notation "Magazine worn, welds rough, replaced 2 magazines ".

Those items WERE both covered under the warranty, unlike the cracked slide which they refused to cover because aftermarket night sights were installed.

So basically I have a brand new gun, including two new magazines sitting next to me right now. It's had a factory trigger job (decent, could be better. about 4.5 lbs SA, smooth with quite a bit of creep but no stacking). I expect with breakin (about 200 rounds), the gun will be better than new (as the trigger and barrel wear in).

Oh and they reinstalled the night sights, only this time they can't bitch because the frikken factory put them in.

Finishing the damn thing

Since the middle of 2003, I have been reading a book.

I can't tell you how many times i have picked the book up, read thre or four pages, and put it back down. Not once have I manged to read more than 50 pages at one sit, of this slightly less than 1000 page book.

Until tonight that is...

The Magnum Opus in question is Neal Stephensons "Quicksilver", the first book in the Baroque Cycle. I have actually purchased the other two books in said cycle (both equally weighty), in preparation for the day, some years hence, that I might actually finish the first.

For all I know, there may be a fourth, but I have simply stopped paying attention. I am currently using the other two as paperweights (very effective ones at that).

Now please understand, this is coming from a guy who read Kings 1300 page unabridged version of "The Stand" in a long afternoon. When I get going I can read straight through for literally days at a time, stopping only to fulfil those immutable needs that biology has presented to us.

Typically speaking, with a book I'm enjoying; my reading speed will be somewhere north of 100 pages per hour. I believe the fastest I have ever read a book, would the the 384 page "Get Shorty", by Elmore Leonard; which I read in 2:14. I wasn't timing myself, I simply remembered looking at the clock at noon when I picked the book up, and again at 1414 when I put it down; finished. It is rare for me to go a day without reading the better part of a book; sometimes reading four or five in a day, and once reading 14 (mostly Robert Heinlein and the like).

The funny thing is, I really like Neal Stephenson. Snow Crash is the seminal cyberpunk novel (though William Gibson is said to have invented the genre, his strength is in short stories, novellas, and collaborations. Stephenson wrote one of the best sci-fi novels of all time in snow crash), and I loved Cryptonomicon, which is such an interesting, odd, and complicated book that attempting to explain it other than to say "It's about codes and stuff" would be difficult if not impossible. I even liked "The Big U"; Stephensons hazy, helleresque satire of the modern university. It's an odd book, but worth reading; and I meant it when I said Helleresque. Yossarian would have been very much at home in this novel.

Semi-random Note: does anyone know if the restaurant minder binders in Tempe AZ is any good?

Quicksilver has been a good book so far (the characterizations and the story itself are excellent); but it has no flow, rythym, cadence etc... It has nothing to draw you in, but page after page of thick, though well crafted but not very engaging prose...

Until about page 350 or so, when the character of Jack Shaftoe is introduced, and especially about 50 pages later when the woman whom I assume will be jacks eventual wife, Eliza, is introduced...

For the last two years, I have only managed to read 340 pages; averaging one page every two days or so. In the last two hours I have read 150 pages, many of them while laughing.

I had been told that this was the case by others; somewhere 1/3 to 1/2 through the book they finally were drawn in. A guy like Stephenson, who has a huge loyal fanbase from his previous geek cred, can afford to get away with something like this... at least once anyway; but writing a novel where the interesting stuff doesnt even begin until further in than the entire length of many other novles seems a bit... I don't know, arrogant maybe isn't what I'm really looking for... maybe presumptious?

Anyway, I'm rather a bit tired now, and I'm going to get some sleep; but I have high hopes that I will soon finish the damn thing.

Stress Relief

I'm trying to keep it constructive...

STAY GOOD CHRIS, STAY GOOD!!!!

Trust me on this one, It's tough.

Verbal Offer

So I recieved a verbal offer today. I'm pretty excited about this gig, it's a damn near ideal job.

If the written offer gets to me in the next few days I could start as soon as next week.

There is one problem though, I refused to give their HR people my SSN, DOB, past addresses etc... I also refused to give my authorization to run a background and credit check, take a drug test, or to give my references; until an offer was on the table.

I told the HR guy that I had no problem giving it after an offer was tendered, but I wouldnt give them yet.

It is illegal for any prospective employer to require this information from you before they are your employer, though it has become common practice for them to ask; and I won't give up my info unless I have a written offer. I have no problem with the offer being contingent on the reference and background check, I'm jsut not going to give you that info, or the right to invade my privacy unless I'm sure you are going to be my employer.

Their HR guy took exception to this, and has his nose out of joint about hiring me; so I'm gonna have to smoothe the waters with this guy.

Honestly, I'm not trying to be an asshole, but I've had some serious problems with privacy breeches before. I've had my identity stolen multiple times over the course of the last ten years; not only that, but I'M A SECURITY CONSULTANT. You would think they would understand, but for some people if you question their routine or process, well there must be something wrong with you.

Anyway my prospective boss was cool with it, but the HR guy wasnt, so I'm'na have to make nice.

Idle Hands Range Report

In an effort to blow off some steam I went to the range today with John, and it was probably the worst I've ever shot in my life.

I wanted to test out the handloads I made up last week, get some practice in, and work off some of the stress from my mom. I also wanted to do my holster qual so I can get some holster drill practice before I start shooting competitively again.

Well, I blew the holster qual pretty throughly, and I was upset about that, and of course my mother, but I figured, "okay blow a hundred or so rounds, I'll feel better).

I was all over the place. Yeah, I ate the center out of the target, but I had flyers all over the place. I probably put two in the C on every shot string, which is WAY worse than I EVER shoot.

Remember, I wasn't shooting from the holster, this was from ready at 7-15 yards. I usually have nice tight little clusers at 2-4".

I'm not the kind of guy who likes to miss.

The handloads worked flawlessly in Johns gun, but out of about 150 rds, I had probably 5 malfunctions, including a couple from factory loads, which is unnacceptable. It was with three different loads, and all were failure to eject or failure to feed, so I know it was my gun. I'mna have to detail strip it and see what's up. I'm thinking my extractor tension might have been screwed up by all the FTE's I had with the remington green box during my CCW qual, and I havent fired the gun since so...

Anyway that irritated me even more.

Finally I jsut gave it up as a bad job, then went to see my mother (updated her status below.

I'm'na get back out this weekend, probably to Ben Avery instead of the gun club. I think I'll shoot the M14 a bit, and run a few hundred more through the 1911; though BASF doesnt let your run drills from the holster.

FTQ

FTQ is a notation for Failure to Qualify.

I've been planning to get back into IDPA, and maybe USPSA shooting; and my local range requires you have what they call a "holster qualification" before they let you do holster drills.

Of course they charge you $15 for "instruction time"; which consists of the instructor running you through a series of draw drills and malfunction drills with an empty gun, and a 10 rd qualifying shoot. There is no instruction, he does it cold, without telling you how he wants it done, and you are graded pass fail with no feedback until you are done.

The whole series consists of multiple four point draws (which I don't do, I don't like the 4 point draw), with a malfunction drill and a reload drill on every draw.

The drills were as follows:

Tap Rack Bang (TRB)
Rip Tap Rack Bang (RRB)
Rip Rack Rack Bang (FTE drill)
Tac reload
Speed reload
10 rds rapid fire from the ready, all in the black (a 5" circle); on a 25 yard slowfire target (B-16) at 7 yards

Of course they have you do them with an empty gun, so the reload and malfunction drills end up with a locked slide you have to release, which throws you off on the drills.

Again, I don't do the drills the way they wanted me to. I do them, I just do them differently. I slap the back of the slide firmly to make sure the extractor has seated before I rack for example.

Basically it's a scam, the thing takes all of 5 minutes for your $15, and unless you are an active IDPA/USPSA shooter who has run through the qual at least once before, you are going to fail it. Once you fail, they say "come back in four or five days and we'll do it again" ... for another $15.

I'm a CCW holder who just re-qualified, a Gunsite grad, and a veteran. I can draw and fire from a holster safely, and I fail to see what malfunction drills have to do with the ability to draw from a holster without shooting yourself, which is supposedly what it's for.

The guy ran through the drills as fast as I could possibly do them, firing the commands at me as soon as I was back in the holster. He went through each drill about four times, and he threw in a couple of surprises on me, that weren't on the list of drills.

Honestly the guy had a shitty attitude from the beginning. He knows I used to be AF, and I think he wanted to take me down a peg.

Well I was pretty stressed to begin with, and pissed off about his attitude, and I blew it. I screwed up on a couple of the malfunction drills, and I put one round outside the scoring area.

Oh, and during onf of the reloads I wedged my palm in between the base plate and the gun, and I got a nice 1/2" acorss blood blister.

I asked to redo the qual right away, now that I had run through it once I knew I could pass; and I only put one round outside the black, I know I can put them all in the black pretty easily. He said, no; I would have to come back in a few days and do it again, for another $15 of course.

Oh, and the actual draw and reholster drills? He said they were fine.

The Real ER - Day 3

So my mother finally had her MRI this morning, or rather her series (MRI/MRA/Another CT etc...).

It turns out she had another Aneurysm, but that doesn't explain the increasing pain over three days. They really don't KNOW what caused the pain, because the aneurysm would have been suddenly and sharply painful, it wouldn't have started as a plain headache, then become progressively worse.

They've also decided to change her medications around again. Yesterday they were giving her her normal Oxycontin, plus percocet, plus neurontin, plus the anti-emetic (they switched to Zofran), 2mg of morhpine eveyr 2 hours, plus demerol.

Yeah, that's a lot of meds.

Today, a different doctor, this one actually a neurologists specializing in pain management (but not her regular pain guy who is at a different hospital) CHANGED her meds, and now she's on methodone, which is jsut effective enough to take her down to about a 7.

Yes, methodone, the stuff they give to heroin addicts. Methodone is often used as a maintenance drug for people who are highly opiate tolerant, when the docs think they are painkiller dependent.

This guy is a total god complex asshole; like jsut about every other neurologist and neurosurgeon (heart surgeons are worse)...

Anyway, as I said, they have no idea what is causing the pain, they really have no idea how to treat her except to give her more drugsl but they are keeping her overnight again anyway, jsut to reduce their likelihood of being sued.

They are probably going to release her in the morning, and she'll talk to her REAL doctors; who are actually competent, and give a damn.

The Real ER - Day 2

The Real ER - Day 1

UPDATE: I jsut called in, it's 10:35 am, she was admited just around midnight, they didnt get her into a room until 10:05am.

I tried calling in a few hours ago, before I finally managed to fall asleep someitmes between six and seven I think, and thye didnt have her in a room yet, and no status update.

The charge nurse couldnt tell me anything because her orders and charts werent even with her, they were being updated. I talked to my mother directly and she was begging me to come get her and take her home, but I told her I couldnt until they told me I could. She said they told her she could go home, but I told her the nurse said they didnt have her orders yet, and that I counldnt even visit her until they were updated, in 15-30 minutes.

It's all about their system, the patients are just an inconvenience that get in the way.

Oh well, I guess I'm just lucky the nurse told me anything at all, without a singed release and a frikken DNA test.

UPDATE: 11:05, and I jsut got of the phone with the nurse again. Her order s JUST got there, and they are sticking her now for more pain control. The Dr. wont be in to see her for at least another half hour, maybe an hour, and we won't know anything til then...

UPDATE: Noon, and no dr, and her pain is getting worse. They havent fed her either because they can't get someone to write the orders.

UPDATE: My mother started freaking out around 2 oclock, and saying that she was going to walk out. I called the nurses again, an no-one had seen to her pain, becuase no doctor had seen her to order it. The pain and the nausea had come back full force; and she said if I didn't come and pick her up, she would walk out on her own.

So I went down there, got in around 3 o'clock, and the Dr JUST WALKED IN THE DOOR FOR THE FIRST TIME, after I arrived.

So from about 11 the night before, until 3pm the next day, she hadn't recieved the proper medication, and no Dr. had seen her.

Of course my mtoher was yelling this whole time that she wasnt going to stay, that shed rather be at home etc... which got us into another fight. The Dr. was a young (younger than me) indain woman who spoke with an accent so thick I couldnt understand her, and I work with indians CONSTANTLy in my business.

My mother kicked her out, said she wouldnt see her etc..

Anyway a whole thing happened; and I just lost it on the charge nurse and the Dr. and they called security on me. I wasn't yelling or screaming, but I have what you might call a creative control of tone, presence, and verbal invective. I have made grown men cry before, and I RIPPED that woman a new one... the little arrogant incompetent god complex bitch.

NOTE: I actually have a complaint to make; while I'm sure there are some great indian doctors, and I know some TECHNICALLY great indian doctors, I personally have NEVER met an indian or pakistani dr. who didnt have a HORRIBLE bedside manner. They are almost univerally even MORE arrogant , condescending, and offensive than Drs already are. I think it's a bi-product of the Indian education system, because that same arrogance and condescension is pretty common among the engineers, and consultant I work with as well.

After that, they actually did something. They got her meds right away, and got some diagnositc going, talked to her other dr's, got her neurologist on the line etc... but it actually took intimidation to do it.

They went to scheduLE her MRI and MRA, and a spinal tap, and said "I hope we can get it done today".

I went and picked my brother up to bring him to the hospital (he doesnt drive), then dropped him home at about 6, and went to my final job interview. I called my mom up before I got there and asked her i they told her when they'd do the MRI, and she said they hadn't told her yet.

At least they finally fed her.

Finally, after the job interview (which went AMAZINGLY btw, I'm expecting an offer in the next day or two), I called my mom, and she said it would be tomorrow afternoon until she had her MRI.

She's so damned scared, and angry, and in pain...

There's nothing I hate more than being helpless, with the people I love in pain...

Oh and just to show you....

that life is perverse...

When my mother called me to come pick her up to take her to the hospital, after finding out about the HK double billing thing; I was just about to write an entry describing some good news for the day.

See I had just arrived back from the best job interview of my entire life. It's the ideal job, it's exactly what I want to do, the people are great, it's in a great location, and the money is decent.

Ya know what... I just don't give a shit anymore.

Even more good news

I went next door to the store to buy some soda and top the tanks yesterday. I went to pay on the debit, and nothing...

Ok so I paid cash, and I went back to the computer.

H&K billed me AGAIN for the same damn repair they ALREADY BILLED ME ON A FEW WEEKS AGO.

So at this point, instead of 382.60 I have been billed 765.20 - Which after paying all my bills up to a few days ago puts me DEEP in the red, even after selling stuff, and the generous donations people have made, becuse I had two buyers back out on the deals.

If anyone knows anyone interested in teh S&W and.or the Chronograph, point them this way. I'm willing to let both go for a song.

Oh, and I want to thank you all very much for helping. I can't say how much I appreciate it.

H&K insists they only billed me once, AND they shipped it next day air last thursday, BUT I STILL DON'T HAVE MY GUN.

Apparently this has caused three other transactions to overdraw, for which I will be charged I believe it is $27 a piece. So I'm bascially down to teh cash in my pocket, and an uncashed check for $100, which I dont want to deposit now, because I may need the cash.

Then, on the way to pick up my mother to take her to the hospital, my brake warning flashed on the cars computer, and instead of jsut coming on and going off, it's stayed on. And its staying on after a shutdown and restart. That means it actually needs to be done this time...

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

The Real ER

I don't really like the T.V. Show E.R. , but I love the IMAGE it presents.

On T.V. ERs are populated by a half dozen, bright, young, dedicated doctors; mentored by some experienced specialists, and supported by a professional, caring, and compassionate nursing staff, and competent administrators.

On T.V. ER doctors’ job is to save your life, and make you feel better, and nurses are there to help you deal with your pain.

On T.V. ERs have competent administrators, technicians, and orderlies to handle the beaurocracy, the paperwork etc...

On T.V. when you walk into the ER with a problem, you are surrounded by all of these bright dedicate professionals, who's sole concern is your health and welfare, and the work quickly and efficiently to GET YOU HEALTHY.

Let me tell you what the real world is like. This is going to be another one of those personal, and very painful postings, so if you're just here for the gun stuff stop reading now.

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My mom called me at just after 5 yesterday evening, in very severe pain. She could barely talk. Unfortunately my mother has what I can only call an irrational hatred and fear of Ambulances, Doctors, and hospitals. She wasn't really coherent but she ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to call an ambulance. She screamed at me that if I called an ambulance she wouldn't let them treat her; and that she would only go to the hospital with me.

Understand, at 5pm, it's usually over an hour from my place to my mothers (about 25 minutes otherwise; its 27 miles - and we live in neighboring cities).

I asked her how much pain she was in, pretty much already knowing the answer - 10. See she refuses to even consider treatment unless she's in 10.

I should explain what this means: There's a pain scale that the medical profession has taken to using in the past few years, and it goes from 1-10, but I won't bother explaining the lower levels.
You see my mother has spent the last 5 years in the kind of pain that most people would commit suicide to escape. She is so opiate tolerant that morphine sulphate basically has no effect on her at levels that don't endanger her respiration. Her day to day pain is at about 5-6, with all her meds.

When I say all her meds, I mean 3 times daily 40mg Oxycontin, 3 times daily 15/125 percoset plus for breakthrough pain, and 4800mg daily neurontin. That’s just the pain meds, she also takes a muscle relaxant, and a nausea suppressant who's names I cant remember, 2000 mg of naprosyn (an anti inflammatory), and something that's supposed to prevent bone loss, and something to boost her red blood cell count, who's names escape me. Oh and she takes calcium and iron supplements.

Yes, most of these meds are to treat the side effects of the other meds; but if she didn’t have them, she'd be vomiting all the time, unable to move, anemic, and her joints would swell up, causing nerve impingement, which would cause her to have seizures then break her bones.

She's gone off all her meds before, out of stubbornness and pride mostly; I know this is what happens to her, because it already did.

Anyway, back to the pain scale.

Pain at 5 or 6 will cause severe insomnia, leading to sleep dementia; nausea and loss of appetite; and reduced co-ordination. Long term pain at 5 or 6 will cause your body to slowly degenerate, because when you are in constant pain, your body can't heal itself properly.

Pain at 7 and above will cause the above plus, dizziness, blurred vision, and muscle control problems.

Pain at 8 will cause all of these things, as well as vomiting, twitching, and light and noise sensitivity.

Pain at 9 will cause all of these things, along with loss of bladder control, and convulsions

Pain at 10 is so severe that it can cause loss of vision, loss of hearing, loss of consciousness, dementia, hallucinations, and significant loss of muscle control. People in pain 10 are generally only able to gasp, cry, scream, and speak for very short periods.

Spending prolonged periods in 9 or 10 can cause you to stroke out, or have a heart attack.

There's another level over 10, generally only used by pain specialist, and trauma specialists. It’s called 10+. People in 10+ generally have little or no voluntary control. They convulse and have seizures, the vomit uncontrollably, they twitch constantly. Their pupils don't dilate properly, and their eyes won’t follow you. They may lose vision entirely.

People in 10+ have massive spikes and dips in blood pressure, heart rate, and respiration rate. They may stroke out, or have a cardiac event.

People in 10+ would be screaming, but they can't get the breath to scream so they gasp, and sometimes moan, or bark. They pass out, and then come back into consciousness screaming, gasping, convulsing. They can't really see, they hear things, they don't know where they are, or what’s happening. They only know they are in pain, and they are afraid.

When people are in 10+, the only voluntary sound they are likely to make, is "please god, kill me. Kill me please"

That's how I found my mother.

When I walked in, she was on the floor, in her bathroom, convulsing, vomiting, gasping for breath, and saying over and over again whenever she could force words out "help me, someone please help, someone kill me, please kill me, god please kill me" over and over again, whenever she could breathe.

I said I was calling an ambulance, and she started trying to scream, "No, no I won’t go with them" but it came out like a wheeze because she had no air.

I picked her up, and carried her to my car. On the way over I had called the FD, and the nearest hospital to warn them we were coming in, and I called the ER now and told them that I had a severe neuro patient coming in, with a history of aneurysms, in 10+ radial in the head, blown out and non-responsive.

I was the equivalent of an EMT/Paramedic (they are certifying us as paramedics now) in the Air Force for two years; and I've been living with my mothers illness for longer than that; I know my shit here.

My mother is a multi-neuro trauma patient. She had a spinal injury a few years ago, and has had brain and spinal cancer. She has had uncontrolled growths in her spine, and along major nerve junctions, which causes her to live in just bearable pain, all the time.

In the last few months, she's had 5 aneurysms. 2 have been repaired (one coil, one clip), but the other three are very large (over 5), and in very sensitive areas, so they want to let the others heal more before they work on the next few.

They aren't really sure they can operate on these things, and still have her survive. They give her about a 20% chance, on the outside.

As a side effect of all this, she's lost most of the feeling in her lower body... it comes and it goes, and she has enough feeling and control to walk (sometimes yes, sometimes no, and never very far), but the only thing she can really feel is pain shooting up and down her legs and back.

It was about a five minute ride to the ER, but when we arrived, there were no staff present. There were about 40 people there, all but two of them (what looked like a lesbian couple) hispanic, almost all of them speaking spanish, most of them pregnant women.

This is in a very nice neighborhood, in far north Phoenix BTW.

I rang the buzzer a couple of times and no-one showed up, finally I started yelling "Hey I've got a neuro trauma coming in, and I need a chair.

I’m a very large and very loud man. I was yelling for about 30 seconds before a nurse showed up. From behind a buzzed and locked security door.

I tried to give the nurse the details, but she just shoved a clipboard with the admission paperwork and went away, back behind the locked security door.

My mother had recovered slightly by this point, and she staggered through the ER door, and almost collapsed just as the nurse came back out the security door; without the chair. I was holding her up, and the nurse saw this and said "Does she need a chair?"

Yes, yes she does.

So the nurse turned around, and went back behind the security door, for 3 MINUTES (I timed her), before she came back with the chair, as I'm standing there holding up my mother.

I tried to tell her again what was happening, but she REFUSED to speak with me before I filled out the paperwork. So I filled out the paperwork, but she had gone back behind the security door.

Another person came in, bleeding from a bad hand cut, and the nurse came back out. They asked, "how long we wait" in broken spanish accented English. The nurses’ response "About two hours"...

Before she could disappear again I went over to her and put the paper in her hand and I stood in between her and the door, and told her the exact same thing I said before. "I have a woman here, history of aneurysm, multiple neuro traumas, she’s at 9-10 radial in the head, spiking over it, constant vomiting, her right pupil is blown out, and she’s intermittently non responsive"

She said she'd be right back to take care of her, then SHE FUCKING DISAPPEARED AGAIN FOR 10 MINUTES.

When she came back again, I was fuming. I told her "I'm an EMT, I've given you clear indications of a life threatening emergency, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING"

"Well why didn't she call an ambulance?"

"I told you, she refused to call an ambulance, she said she would refuse treatment so she called me, I called it in on the phone, I told you the situation"

"Well you didn't call ME..."

"What the HELL ARE YOU DOING, you need to treat this woman RIGHT NOW"

She sighed and said "Fine, wheel her in here by my desk, and I'll be right back"

20 MINUTES WENT BY. I grabbed every person that went by and tried to get them to get someone to treat my mother, but most of them wouldn't even acknowledge me.

The nurse came back, and started going through the normal admitting paperwork, sitting there with my mother vomiting and convulsing, kicking herself out of a wheelchair.

"Do you NOT understand how serious this is? She's spiking above 10, and she's had 5 aneurysms, she's probably got a cranial bleed right now"

"I'm sorry sir, we can't treat her without this. You should have just called an ambulance"

The entire time, my mother is gasping, and choking out over and over again "Please help me, someone please help me, oh god help me"; while the nurse just sits there, writing away, and trying to ask her the standard admittance questions.

By the time we finished with the paperwork, my mother had become non-responsive again, and was convulsing out of the chair. When she WAS responsive, she was semi delirious, vomiting, and crying.

"Why have you made us wait this long?"

"Well if you had just called in ambulance this would have been much easier on us, and on you"

I was VERY angry at this point and said "Oh that's great, way to blame the patient"

"I'm not blaming the patient, she should have called an ambulance, it's not my fault she didn't"

I'm not a violent man, but I can't tell you how much I wanted to hit her at that moment.

They put us in a trauma room, and it was about 20 minutes before we saw anyone again. It was someone looking for her insurance information.

I asked for a doctor over and over again, but I kept being told, "he's not on the floor right now, he'll be here shortly", and "I’m sorry I can't help until the doctor sees her.

Another 10 minutes went by and a couple of med techs came in to get her into a gown. Her pain had gone down to a 9 by now, so she was able to partially assist, but she went non-responsive a couple times.

Every time someone came in, or came by I gave them my spiel, and every time, "Oh someone will be right here".

Finally a paramedic came in, and I gave him my spiel. I also said "she’s stopped vomiting and she has no saliva, I'm pretty sure she's dehydrated now". He said "Ok, were going to put a line in, and get some blood".

The entire time my mother was asking for help with the pain.

He said the doctor would be "right there", and he headed out. It was another 15 minutes before the Dr. came in, I gave the spiel, he got a few semi-responsive answers of my mother, and I told him what her normal pain meds were, and that she hadn’t been able to keep them down that day, and that she hadn’t had any water. He said "Ok, we'll get some pain meds in you", and he turned around and walked out.

After about 15 minutes, the paramedic came back in, and he did the stick, quick, clean, and talking with my mother the whole time. He took two samples, and hung the bag on an open drip for hydration.

I'll tell you right now, this is the only person who actually did his job the entire time we were there.

Again, the entire time my mother is asking for some pain control. He said, "I'll see what I can do". and I followed him out the door. Behind glass, through more security doors I could see maybe eight nurses, and three doctors, including the one who had just come in.

They were doing paperwork. All of them.

There were no other nurses on the floor, although they had 12 bays, with a patient in each one (two elderly women, the rest mexicans). The paramedic was going from bay to bay with a list. The only time I saw a nurse step out of their little glassed in staff area was to walk to another area, or to come ask the paramedic why he hadn’t got to something else yet.

I asked the guy later, and he said he was the only one on the floor doing sticks right now, but he wouldn't say why, just saying "well we're really busy". Of the three doctors on the floor, only one of them was taking cases, same reason.

While the doctors and nurses were doing paperwork.

About 20 minutes later, after a couple of conferences with the doctor, he came back in, with 2mg of Morphine, some Atavan, and some compozine (and anti-emetic). We told him right then, 2mg isn’t going to do a damn thing, and she's had composine before, it doesn’t work for her.

But that’s what the Dr. ordered.

He pushed the meds, stuck around for a couple minutes and saw there was no response (morphine acts fast, if it doesn’t work in a few seconds, it isn’t going to work); and went back to the dr.

About 45 minutes later, after I repeatedly asked them to help, the Dr. ordered 4mg of morphine, and a different anti-emetic (I don't remember which one).

No effect.

20 minutes later the paramedic came back with Diluadid, and fentanyl (another anti emetic/anti-nausea, with psychoactive side effects, but it's very effective). The dilaudid finally eased her breathing, and after about 10 minutes stopped her twitching, brought her down to an 8-9, and the fentanyl got her to stop vomiting.

I spent the next 30 minutes trying to get the Dr. and nurses to understand that she was still at 8-9, and that she was still nauseous, but that it had helped some, she was just highly tolerant, and needed another dosage. Finally, an hour after the first dose, the paramedic came back and gave her the same again, and changed the bag (she'd taken the whole liter, and when she could she was also drinking orally. She was VERY dehydrated).

She finally went down to about a 7, and she stabilized there. Her pupils went back to, if not normal (she had a lot of pain killers in her), at least responsive. She was able to focus, and to breathe properly, she wasn’t vomiting, and she was talking normally, when she wasn’t faded out.

At this point I was finally able to talk to her for a bit, and she told me that rather than this whole thing starting this morning, as she had said before, it had actually started three days ago, and that it had been getting progressively worse.

Realize, we walked in the door at 6pm, and this was at like 10. I had kind of lost track of time at this point. In that 4 hours, she had seen the Dr. a total of maybe two minutes, and there had as of yet NO DIAGNOSTIC ACTION TAKEN.

Oh I forgot to mention, the two blood samples just sat on the tray. The Dr. never ordered the blood tests.

I actually went and knocked on the glass until the Dr. came out to me, and I told him, she's stabilized, her pain is about 7, she's intermittently responsive again, and that the pain appears to be progressive, possibly indicative of a cranial bleed. He agreed with me, came in and examined my mother and said "Ok, we don’t have a lot of options here, but I'm going to get her in to CT"

"Ok, do you have a timeline for me", he turned around as he was walking out the door and said "bout two hours" over his shoulder as he walked out.

My mom kind of flipped out a bit at that, and I spent the next few minutes calming her down.

I went out to the Dr., and I re-emphasized how serious this was, and how agitated she was, and asked if there was anything we could do to make this go faster. I also mentioned that she was still in severe pain, just less than she was. The Dr. said he would bump her to the top of the list, and amazingly enough, about 10 minutes later a tech came in to wheel her up to CT. As she was on the way, a FUCKING FIREDRILL HAPPENED.

No, Literally, a fire drill.

There were four more fire alarms in the time we were there, because they reset them incorrectly after the drill.

So, she comes back from CT, and about 30 minutes later the Dr. comes back in and say, "I cant see a bleed, but this doesn’t look quite right... unfortunately there’s nothing I can do tonight. We'll admit you now for pain control and observation, and we'll transfer you to Barrows in the morning" ... Barrows is one of the best neurological institutes in the country, and it's where my mothers neurologist, pain control specialist, and neurosurgeon are.

Almost two hours went by, with us waiting for her to be admitted.

Still, all the Drs and nurses are in the glassed in area, doing paperwork.

I finally got a nurse to talk to me again, and she said "We can’t find her a bed, were short tonight and we're waiting for the shift to change so we can make up a room for her and get her into a bed.

I went back and told my mother this, and she FLIPPED OUT.

She tried to get out of bed and nearly ripped her IV out. She said she wanted to refuse treatment, she was going home right now.

Well, she and I had a HUGE fight over this, which culminated with me forcibly restraining her from ripper her IV out, literally velcroing her down, and getting the nurse in there.

The reason I got the nurse in? Because the ER doctor wouldn’t see her because they had admitted her, and the CR assigned her care wasn’t in, and wouldn’t respond to a page.

I had to spend the next 20 minutes trying to convince my mother not to leave. I finally told her I wasn’t taking her home...

It wasn’t good. She was VERY upset and angry with me, and I with her.

I still am; she would quite literally rather die than subject herself to the indignities of hospital care. I was honestly worried that if I took her home she would deliberately overdose just to end the pain.

This entire time, they refused to giver her enough medication to get her below 7.

My mother finally agreed to continue care, described ho much pain she was in (back over 8, into 9), and asked for more pain control.

The Dr. left orders that she receive 2mg of morphine every 4 hours, and no more. We told the nurse that this wouldn’t be effective, but she refused to call another Dr. to change it.

"I can try paging him again, but I know he's not going to come in just for you".

You see those caring, expert, dedicated Drs and nurses you see on TV? They don't exist.

Oh they used to; every one of those Drs and nurses in that little glass box doing paperwork USED to care. They used to give a damn. They used to be competent.

They don’t care anymore.

They have seen everything, and been abused, and are so used to dealing with all the bullshit, and the pain, and the suffering...

And they just don’t care anymore.

In the real world most ERs have ONE single Dr. who’s there because he has to be, not because he wants to be, and maybe three or four nurses for the 10-20 trauma bays they might have. They want to get your out of their area as fast as they can, to clear more space for the next piece of scum that walks in the door, because that who they deal with most of the time, and they know it, but they can't treat them any differently.

They just don't care anymore; and they get angry if you try to make them care. They get angry if you disturb their routine, and their system.

They are just trying to get through this next shift, and you're in the way.

They try to care, they try to do a good job, but they can't. There’s soo much paperwork, and so much bullshit, and so many lawyers and insurance companies. They are abused and lied to so much. Their funding, their hours, their shifts, their jobs are fucked with so much...

They just CAN'T care anymore, and they CAN'T do the job right anymore because the system won't let them

So they shut it out, and fill in their paperwork, and treat you like an inconvenient object in their way, because if they did anything else they would go insane. You'll be gone in a few hours anyway.

They just get through their shift, while the people around them scream, because they can't do anything else.

Your Semi-Regular dose....

Of comics lovin....

I know I've said this many times before, but heres further proof that Chris Muir

Is a Freakin Genius®

And occaisonally J.D. "Iliad" Frazier will come up with something showing he's still got some of IT somewhere:

Keepin it real for Canada there J.D.

Isreal, Palestine,Terrorism, and Politics

Recntly there have been some stories in the press accusing Israel of "state sponsored terrorism", related to this incident, and others (as described below):

Early in the morning of April 9, 1948, commandos of the Irgun (headed by Menachem Begin) and the Stern Gang attacked Deir Yassin, a village with about 750 Palestinian residents. The village lay outside of the area to be assigned by the United Nations to the Jewish State; it had a peaceful reputation. But it was located on high ground in the corridor between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. Deir Yassin was slated for occupation under Plan Dalet and the mainstream Jewish defense force, the Haganah, authorized the irregular terrorist forces of the Irgun and the Stern Gang to perform the takeover.

In all over 100 men, women, and children were systematically murdered. Fifty-three orphaned children were literally dumped along the wall of the Old City, where they were found by Miss Hind Husseini and brought behind the American Colony Hotel to her home, which was to become the Dar El-Tifl El-Arabi orphanage.

As much as this story has an obvious pro palestinian slant here, the facts of the story are true (never mind the editorial), and there are more of them. The Irgun, and even the Haganah were vicious; and don't even get me started on the Sayeret.

Every successful revolution (including our own BTW, on both sides), and most civil wars (including our own, on both sides) have used terrorist tactics at one point or another. It's part of warfare; certainly a despicable part, but theres no such thing as a clean war, and anyone who thinks there is needs to get their heads out of their asses.

Anyone who thinks the U.S. is "above" terrorism, you're kidding yourselves. We have done, and will do whatever it takes to serve our interests. In these media conscious days, if that means getting third parties to do it for us under the pay of the CIA in Laos, Cambodia, Nicaraugua, Afghanistan etc... how are we any less responsible for the terrorism that happens because of it?

It's a tactic, and a strategy. In particular it's the tactic of forces that do not have the resources to mount a successful guerilla campaign; and the strategy of forces whos objectives are militarily impossible, but politically possible.

The objective of terrorism is to demoralize the civilan population that supports the controlling authority, and to provoke disproportionate and misdirected response from the controlling authority; which will tend to engender support for the terrorists from the disaffected population, and from outside groups opposed to the controlling authority.

Terrorism isn't about military targets, it's about violent politics and propaganda, and it works in this limited arena only. Terrorists arent trying to win wars, they are trying to gain enough support that they no longer need to be terrorists; or failing that create enough chaos that the controlling authority collapses or loses control. Once chaos has trumped control, the terrorists then have a better chance for conducting successful operations given their limited resources which will allow them to take control.

Do I approve of it morally? Sure I do.

Repeat after me: WAR IS NOT A MORAL EXCERCISE

The causes of war, and the results of war may be moral, but the conduct of war has nothing to do with morality. War is about forcing your enemy to give in, and any strategy or tactic that causes that to happen is acceptable if it will end the war sooner.

You have to decide what a valid target or tactic is based on your asessment of your enemy, and their reactions to your targeting. In World War II, we decided that unrestricted bombing of civilian targets in Germany and Japan was a valid tactic (not strategy), because it would end the war quicker. Was this action moral? Individually no, but as part of a strategy to end the war quciker?

THE ONLY MORALITY IN WAR, IS ENDING IT QUICKLY

You have to preform a thought experiment here to understand what I'm talking about. Let's say the united states has been successfully invaded by a hostile foreign power. They have successfully pacified both coasts, but there are still large numbers of patriotic Americans with small arms, some military training, and some good leadership; in the mountain states, the woods and mountains of the south, and in pockets of the prairie.

No-one is happy under the occupation, but the people on the coasts are sufficiently afraid of the control the invaders have that they will not rise up against them. The invaders have brought in large numbers of their civlian population to adminsiter our occupation, and to reap the profits. The invaders also have artillery, air, and armor, but their infrastructure isn't fully established. They tend to have large, dense concentrations of forces, that are spread far apart, with little capability to respond in between, but significant civilian populations and political centers in those locations.

How are you, as a patriotic American, going to restore our republic? Now do you understand why I say terrorism is just another tactic (or strategy, depending on how it's used)?

Note: Read Robert Heinleins 1949 classic "The Sixth Column" if you want to know where that little thought experiment came from BTW. Of course I'd bet most of my readers already have, and recognized it about halfway in. A lot of Heinlein fans think this is one of his worst, but most of those people are liberals who "find it simplistic, and jingoistic, and find its racism, sexism, militarism, and anti-communism uncomfortable to read" (and yes, that's a direct quote).

I only object to terrorism on tactical and strategic grounds. Terrorism often has the opposite effect intended, in that it strengthens the resolve of those it is directed against. This is accounted for in terrorist doctrine, in that you are trying to provoke a response; however if your opponent has no qualms about mistargeted attacks, or collateral damage (As the Israelis clearly do not, nor should they), all that will happen is that you and your supporters will be exterminated.

In a population firmly commited to the controling authority, or to the principles that authority represents, terrorism cannot achieve it's political goals, and can only be successful if it results in significant military gain (generally in the form of support from outside groups).

Unless the population or groups from which you intend to draw support are prepared (and are large enough and/or rich enough) to give you enough support to accomplish more significant military missions, or your target is politically unstable or vulnerable to chaos; terrorism will ultimately be unsuccessful, and merely wasteful of life.

Whatever your moral conception of the Palestinian issue (and mine is they lost 56 years ago, get over it), the Palestinian terrorist campaign is tactically sound (barely), but strategically unsound; which is the definition of how to win battles and lose wars.

It's important to understand, this is intentional.

The Palestinian terrorist campaign is NOT designed to win.

The terrorist campaign and it's associated groups are not capable of significant military victory, because the Arab nations which supposedly support them, are in fact using them as a pawn in their own political machinations. These states explicitly and intentionally deny the terrorist groups the resources necessary to conduct successful operations, becuase it would not suit their purposes to have the conflict end.

Without sufficient state support, the populations from which the terrorists draw direct support are neither large enough, or commited enough to provide enough manpower; nor do they have the resources to provide the equipment and materiel which would be sufficient to ensure military victory.

The only option left if they intend to win, is to cause a collapse of the Israeili system. This is clearly impossible. Israelis know that the cost of political defeat and collapse would be their death.

The terrorists do not intend to win here; excepting the fanatics who believe that if they are devoted enough Allah will sweep Israel into the sea.

The true purpose of the palestinian terror movement is organized crime. Power, romance, money, sex, drugs... whatever. Being an arab peasant is boring and unpleasant. Being a "freedom fighter" however is romantic, and "honorable", and it gives you an excuse to violate Allahs laws as much as you want, and still get the 72 virgins at the end.

They know they can't win, but their lives suck enough that they'd rather die fighting (and drinking, and fucking), then live being fucked over by their governments.

Hard Parts

I've had a few questions related to gun setup come by in the past few days; and I'm sure you've noticed by now, I'll take any excuse to talk about guns.

A reader on the NOR Forums asks the following question:

I just noticed that the slide stop notch is starting to round, as you've probably guessed. My question is what I should do about it.

Some background... I've installed an extended slide stop and a Wolff 18.5# spring, both of which I believe may be contributing to the problem...

...I think the slide stop is a problem as well because it seems to be harder steel than the one I replaced. I can easily swap the old one back in and just deal with doing only tactical reloads or releasing the slide with my left thumb, I suppose. This is much more of a guess than the spring/GI mag thing.

Another reader sent me this question in email:

I recently bought my first 1911. It is a Springfield milspec (not the GI). It shoots well and I like it but I do get a bit of hammer bite. So I gather the thing to do is to have a bobbed or skeleton hammer put on. Does this mean I need to get a new grip safety as well? Also, what is your opinion on ambi safeties? Are they useful? I am righthanded and don't have trouble with the stock safety but doing lefthanded drills shows me that flipping off the safety with just my left hand would be difficult.

These questions give me a great excuse to talk a little about gun setup, and a little more about technique (which is actually the more important discussion).

I'm going to address them in reverse order:

Hammer bite. The bane of the meaty hand, and John Brownings gun designs. Hammerbite is the best way I can think of to develop a flinch with the 1911 or hi-power (regardless of caliber), and it doesn't need to be; there's a couple of very easy solutions (at least for the 1911, the BHP is more expensive to fix). Glocks have a related problem called GlockBite, and it's harder to fix, usually involving retraining your grip (bad), or a trip to Robar (expensive); but for a 1911, you can fix the problem for $100 to $200.

First step: replace the hammer with a rowell or skeleton hammer (vs. the spur hammer that comes standard on mil-spec guns).

You COULD just buy a hammer for between $25, and $60 , but then you would need to do a full (and more difficult) trigger job on the gun. you don't know how well the new hammer will mate with the original sear; and msot importantly you don't know whether they will gall on each other because of differing hardness.

What I recommend instead, is buying a matched hammer and sear (or hammer, sear, and disconnector) from Wilson, Ed Brown, Les Baer, or Chip McCormick for between $50 and $100. Even better; at various times they have all offered matched sets which are sold as "drop in, no trigger job needed" for between $100 and $150. Though they seem to go in and out of their catalogs; if you call them up and ask, they may have some around, or do one for you.

I'm going to make a specific recommendation here: The Yost Bonitz Ignition system is in MY gun, and I LOVE it; plus, it's cheaper than Wilsons drop in setup, at $105.95.

First; the hammer, sear, and disconnector, are very high quality pieces; EDM wire cut and CNC precision matched to each other. Second, and more importantly; the hammer and sear are hand matched, and all parts are hardedned to 50-53rc AFTER MACHINING.

I can't tell you how important that last bit is. If the parts aren't properly hardened after final machining, they WILL wear rapidly, and unevenly, they WILL burr, and they WILL eventually fail. Light stoning is acceptable, but any major machining can cut through the hardened surfaces.

Lately it's become common for the factories to hardchrome investment cast hard parts (slide stop, safety, hammer, sear, disconnector, magazine catch, and sometimes guide rod), which can be a great finish, because it is very hard, and very wear resistant. The problem is, it results in a VERY high surface hardness (there are two processes resulting in hardnesses of 52-60rc, or 70-82rc) that doesn't penetrate very far; over very soft (around 30rc) interior metals. This is fine so long as you don't machine through the hardened layer, but a good trigger job can go down to the softer metal, which will eventually cause your trigger to fail.

Personally, I HIGHLY recommend buying a hardened steel trigger group, safety ($20-30 for plain, $40-60 for ambi), and slide stop ($30-60, from Wilson or Brown); as generally the factory pieces are crap. They are usually servicable crap, but take a look at the serrations on your hammer and slide stop; and unless you have a Wilson, Brown, Baer, or Yost; I'll bet you the serrations are cast in (instead of machined as custom pieces usually are), rounded, and not very grippy. This isn't a be-all-end-all test, but it's a pretty good indication of the quality and precision differences.

All the matched sets, safeties, and slidestops say "fitting by a gunsmith required" but really as long as you can detail strip your gun, you're good to go, with maybe just a little bit of stoning. Yes, you should have a qualified gunsmith do any work (for liability and safety reasons), but if the piece is already machined and stoned properly, all your gunsmith is going to do is inspect it, and charge you his minimum rate (of course Yost is my gunsmith, his shop is 7 miles from me).

Next; to the grip safety: I personally recommend a beavertail, and if your gun didnt come with one already (pretty rare these days), you can get a drop in for about $40. Sure, it won't look as good as the gunsmith custom machined piece (which will run you anywhere from $100-$150 installed), but it's cheap, fast, and it works.

A beavertail grip safety isn't absolutely necesary, but in addition to absolutely preventing hammerbite; a beavertail allows for a higher indexed grip, and a deeper indexing into the palm and web of the hand. This higher and deeper indexing allows for a better grip in general, a shorter and more precise trigger pull, easier control manipulation, and better recoil control, with faster sight picture recovery. Most beavertails these days also feature a "speed-bump" (originally developed by custom gunsmiths, and popularized by Ed Brown); a feature that ensures a more positive dis-engagement of the grip safety, and helps with the muscle memory of your indexed grip (because the bump is easily felt in your palm).

After all that, why wouldn't you want one? Well, some people don't like how they look; and they add a little length to the gun, which makes guns equipped with them slightly harder to conceal. Personally, I'll take that tradeoff any day.

Now, I just recommended buying a hardened tool steel slide stop, but most slides aren't hardened to 53 rc (from 38-46 are typical). Won't that cause a problem? After all, reader number one above says: "I just noticed that the slide stop notch is starting to round, ...I think the slide stop is a problem as well because it seems to be harder steel than the one I replaced"

This is a very common issue people have with their guns; really EVERY 1911 will start to round out the notch as you go; tool steel stop, or factory stop, doesn't really matter, the bottom edge of that notch is going to round out eventually.

The bottom of the notch rounding isn't a problem; it's normal. There's only a problem if the stop either doesn't engage, or is too easy, or too hard to disengage.

If you do have a problem with engagement or disengagement, there's a process to follow (or even if you don't; it works for every gun):

First, you need to deburr, and slightly relieve the edges of the notch; to ensure consistent engagement. Make sure all three sides (and the bottom, though thats less important) of the notch are flat, smooth, and burr free; with smoothly radiused transitions between the faces.

Second, take the slide stop itself, and smooth the contact faces and top of the stop tab, so that they are even, and unburred.

Next, look at where the stop hits the notch. it should be more than half way up; if it's not, the angles are wrong. The stop tab, and the notch are machined at approximately reciprocal angles, with the slide stop machined to a slightly greater angle (when clocking the angle from the corner of the bearing face of the stop); and the final angle of incidence (which will be smaller than the difference between the machined angles) is formed by the rotation of the slide stop. This angle of incidence between the notch and the stop should be no less than 1.5, and no more than 5 degrees; really it should be about 2-3 degrees, but I've seen properly functioning guns at both ends of the range. The top of the stop shouldnt be directly in contact with the top of the notch; if it is, the stop is too high,;most likely because the angle is wrong.

This is a frequent problem with replacement slide stops in a factory gun, because the replacement part is frequently machined at a slightly different angle than the original stop; and it causes binding, slipping, or hitting the top of the notch. It is also sometimes necessary to dimple the bearing face of the slide stop, so that the slide stop plunger will engage it fully (to ensure positige engagement and disengagement of the slidestop)

Some custom makers machine their slides and stops so that they exactly mate together when the stop is at the top of it's stroke. This is very difficult to get exactly right, without causing either slippage or binding (depending on the exact angle used), but if you can do it, it looks and feels great

Finally, some folks like to chamfer, round, or multi-bevel (at a sharper angle) the back edge of the stop tab. This will smooth and ease the release of the slide stop when slingshotting.

Sometimes they also lightly chamfer the top corner of the front face of the stop tab, whcih eases engagement, and smoothes manual disengagement. This is a process you have to be careful with, because if you do it wrong, the engagement of the stop can be inconsistent or weak.

When the angles are correct, and the edges properly finished, you should be able to successfully perform the following tests:

• The slide stop should firmly engage when the slide is pulled back on an empty magazine, no matter the speed of retraction, or if the slide is retracted fully, or jsut to the notch.

  
  

• You should be able to smack the back of the slide firmly while it is locked back, without the stop disengaging.

• You should be able to rest your thumb on the slide stop, with our without a magazine in place, without having the slide drop.

• You should be able to pull the slide back to full retraction off the lock without any catching, grittiness, or excessive tension.

• You should be able to drop the silde on a either a full OR an empty magazine without excessive pressure, or any grittiness, or catching.
  

Most aftermarket stops WILL be much harder than the slides they are stopping, and this is OK, so long as both parts are burr free, and the angles are correct. If you do have a problem, its most likely because the steel of your slide stop is too soft, and it peens, burrs, or the edges break, causing inconsistent engagement.

This problem is very common with factory slide stops, because the factories tend to cheap out on the hard parts, as I described above; using cast steel pieces, hard surfaced, and not deeply heat treated.

I have a thinned Wilson tool steel slide stop, and a Wolff 22lb dual captured spring (my gun is set up for .45 super). I've beveled the bottom, and eased the edges of the notch, and the stop - VERY lightly. The engagement is great, and even with the ultrathin thumb surface and heavy recoil spring, it's easy to disengage.

Now, on to the technique section:

The one problem I have with using my slide stop, is that I have an extended and very thin slidestop; and extended gas pedal safety, which is thinner than competition safeties (which are DAMN wide, so you can use a full thumb rest), but not as thin as the slide stop, and which indexs my thumb a bit higher than the slide stop. This configuration makes my thumb press up on the safety if I release the stop with my dominant hand, as I move to reindex my thumb over the safety, for the shooters rest grip. I use the shooters rest grip because my thumbs tend to accidentally engage the slide stop during recoil recovery, even with a thin slide stop. The safety, stop, and grip combined, completely prevent my dominant thumb from unintentionally engaging the slide stop.

Guess what? I wanted it that way. This configuration makes it difficult to engage the slide release with the grip safety depressed, unless I use my support hand thumb to make the release. This got me out of the habit of dropping the slide before I had fully indexed my support hand grip. More importantly, it makes me automatically put the safety on the second a round is chambered, if I'm not indexed.

If I'm using a stop drop on a reload, Ill slap the mag in with my support hand, then immediately transition my hand into the support grip, and drop the slide (either with my dominant, or my support thumb. As I'm brining my gun back up, I wipe the thumb safety on as I move my thumb up over the safety. I then automatically reindex my thumb on the top of the safety to wipe it off, leaving my thumb in the upper rest position; and slowing me enough in my process (not in my motion); that I have reindexed the sight, and re-established my shooting position before I am ready to squeeze the trigger.

Yes, this slows me down a fraction of a second, but it's a hell of a lot safer in a potential mixed threat environment, where you want to make an asessment before you shoot again.

I said above this configuration broke me of the habit of dropping the slide before I was ready. Actually it did something more important: it got me out of the habit of dropping the slide at all.

Unless you are competing, you should get used to using the slingshot. For years, instructors have been saying don't do it, because it moves your support hand near the muzzle of the gun, and tends to pull the gun off to the side, which are potentially unsafe. On the range, they're right; but on the street, it's the wrong thing to do.

To perform a proper sling shot, tuck your elbows in, and wrap your whole hand over top the gun (keeps your fingers and palm away from the muzzle, and improves grip strength); then pull the slide ALL the way back and release the slide completely, letting it slam forward rapidly.

Now, take a look at the difference in clearance, and in slide speed and pressure between a slingshot, and a stop drop; it's about a half inch, and about 50% more speed, which are HUGE in gun terms. Given this, the slingshot is more likely to return completely into battery in a dirty, partially obstructed, or rough feeding gun or cartridge. Also, your thumbs aren't in the way to slow the slide down, which frequently happens with a stop drop.

Another point in the slingshots favor: if you've inserted an empty mag, or a round that won't feed from the mag (because of a bad profile, burred brass, deforemed lips, or a jammed follower), the slide is going to stay locked with a slingshot. You may think depressing the slide release on an empty mag is hard, and that you'll notice before your gun goes click instead of bang, but trust me; the second you're engaging a subject, you will have strength you didnt even know existed.

Believe me when I tell you, under stress you can EASILY accidentally load an empty mag, and you WILL be able to depress that release without even noticing; at which point your gun will go click instead of bang, and you can end up dead.

Now, in competition it makes sense to use the slide stop, because it's faster; but when your life is on the line, reliability is more important than speed.

I hope this pisses you off as much as it does me

I read this one, and I was simultaneously angered, and amused (as I often find myself feeling when reading the news):

Mike Bolesta of Baltimore, MD, knew that paying his $114 installation charge to Best Buy in only $2 bills would cause a small stir, but he didn't think it would cause him to be arrested ...

After buying a stereo, finding that it would not work, having a new stereo model installed, and being told that he did not have to pay an installation fee, Bolesta was contacted by the store, and was threated with police action if he did not pay the fee he was told before did not exist. As a sign of protest, Bolesta decided to pay using only $2 bills, which he has an abundance of because he asks his bank for them specifically.

Unfortunately for him, the cashier did not seem to understand that the $2 bill is indeed legal US tender, since the bill itself is not often used. After rudely refusing to take the money, the cashier accepted the bills, only to mark them as though they were conterfeit. Supposedly, the suspicion of counterfeit was due to a smearing of the ink on the bill, but Secret Service agent Leigh Turner stated to the police that the bills were indeed legitimate, adding that "Sometimes ink on money can smear."

Perhaps the most galling aspect of this story is not the fact that it happened, or even the treatment that Mr. Bolesta endured, but the rationale used to explain the incident away, as stated by Baltimore County police spokesman Bill Toohey: "It's a sign that we're all a little nervous in the post-9/11 world." The "post-9/11 world" hardly excuses shackling a citizen to a pole or placing him in leg irons merely on one person's ignorant suspicions. In fact, there is nothing that should ever excuse this kind of treatment. ...

Now I'm not one for suing over everything, but as far as I'm concerned this guy has the best false arrest claim I've ever heard of. I guarantee you, name Best Buy, and the sherrifs office as co-defendents on the suit, and Best Buys insurance company will settle in a heartbeat.

What really gets me though, is instead of admitting their cashier was an idiot, and the cop that arrested the guy was an ever BIGGER idot (if that's possible), they actually had the gall to blame 9/11.

Man, one of these days I'm going to do a post on stupid cops, but let me just say this: If you look around and you see stupidity, venality, incompetence, and ignorance everywhere in your life; why would you assume the police (or the press, or the government), are any less stupid, venal, incompetent, or ignorant?

Blogger sux redux

So blogger was inaccessible pretty much all day yesterday. I wrote out a few posts, ended up updating and psoting two of them, but the other three I'm not feeling like putting up now.

The thing about blogging, for me anyway, is that it's a spur of the moment thing. It's somethign I like to do when the inspiration (or irritation) strikes, and if I am thwarted in this desire, it kind of ruins the mood, if ya know what I mean.

Wow that just sounded like a commercial for blogvitra or something didnt it...

Anyway, I hate blogger, but it's free, and I'm unemployed. When either of those things change, I'll move the blog to something less shitty.

A little more comics lovin

Oh how well I know this situation

McGruder is an odd duck... kind of a communists/blackpower weenie/social commentarist. If we could only get him to see that the forces of socialism are even worse for individual freedom than current government...

See he understands about the self destruction and stupidity of the "urban youth culture", but he's still blaming the white man and the government. He started off as a grad student in I think Maryland, but managed to get syndicated. The longer he's been out in reality, the less "the man is keepin us down" shit shows up in his work, and the more "we're keepin ourselves down" takes over.

Just a few more steps Aaron, you'll get here eventually.

Tale of the Tape - Week 2

Well my weight this morning was 364 - So far, so good.

I haven't been working out much this week, jsut the pushups and crunches. Got to get back into the gym tomorrow (I'm a bit sore today from all the reloading I've been doing, five hours of pulling the levers yesterday).

I HAVE noticed that even without the appetite suppressant portion of my supplement package, my appetite is less, and in general I'm eating less; except when I do this one little irritating thing...

See sometimes I forget to eat for a couple days at a time. You wouldn't think this could be true given my advanced state of corpulence, but it is. I get busy with things and I jsut dont think about it, until I start getting a headache, or get dizzy, and I think... "Oh yeah, I haven't eaten in two days".

Of course then I'm half starved, and I go and eat an entire triple bacon and cheese whataburger, with fries, and a side of chicken fingers, at three am.

Yes this is a specific example from a few days ago, and yes, it's a bad thing that I need to stop doing.

Not So Idle Hands

Not so Idle hands

So yesterday John and I went out and picked up about 2000 once fired cases, the new powder measure (gack, $100 including the stand for the RCBS one), and the vibratory case cleaner and media; oh and we ended up paying less for the 9MM brass, but about $0.025 per .45acp case.

So we spent most of the day yesterday decapping and sizing brass; lots and lots of brass. I dont know exaCtly how much .45 brass we got, but it was WAY more than the 1000 we paid for. I'd estimate it was more like 1500, and by 3am we had decapped and sized them all; John got a bit more than half, and I got the rest. Let me tell you, my back, and my arms are definitely feeling it. I would assume that John is feeling it worse than I am, because at least I've been working out some lately.

I timed it out, and I was doing about 10 cases per minute, with a few interruptions for food, drink, doing a trigger job on Johns SW1911 (that grip safety plunger interconnect is a PITA), and some press maintenance. We popped two decapping pins clean off in the process before I figured out the turret was just a little too loose, allowing a misalignment to creep in.

Oh, and I figured out, or rather verified something I already knew; S&B brass is really shit. We had maybe 20 bad cases in the entire lot, and juSt about all of them were S&B. Not only that, but the damn things were a bitch to resize, meaning they were stratched out more. You could definitely see the brass was thinner, and less consistent, especially in the case heads. Winchester brass on the other hand is great stuff.

There was a fun variety of headstamps, everything from WCC 53 (and 62, 64, 76, and 77), to brand new Winchester marked stuff. There was also some TZZ (IMI military contract brass); which was almost as bad as the S&B for sizing pressure required, but the brass was very consistent, and had very good solid case heads (unlike the S&Bs).

So we need to grab some more decapping pins, a couple more shell holders, another set of .45 dies so John and I can work simultaneously on the same operation; and .223 and .308 dies so I can relaod for my rifles.

I'm thinking I need to get back into IDPA shooting, now that I can get the ammo cheap enough.

By whatever means necessary

An article from Mas Ayoob has been making the rounds of the gunny sites lately, talking about when lethal force is justified. Related to that, a thread on the NOR asks "what are your opinions on lethal force. When should it be used, when are you justified".

I recently renewed my CCW, and we talked specifically about when you were and were not legally jsutified, and what the consequences would likely be, even in a justified shooting, and what your personal go-no-go point was.

For me, it's really simple; If I feel that me or mine are threatened with harm, I am going to stop the threat, by whatever means neceessary.

If I see a violent crime being committed in front of me, and I have the ability to stop it, I will do so by whatever means necessary.

If someone comes into my home in the middle of the night, I WILL percive that individual as a potential lethal threat, and I will stop the threat, by whatever means necessary.

I don't care about the legal justification issue; better to be judged by twelve, than carried by six.

Idle Hands

I had a pretty bad couple of days, and I decided that I wished to avoid being the devils plaything, and I had to do something useful and/or productive.

I mentioned a few days ago that I am running SEVERELY low on ammo, and that my reloading gear has just been sitting in a box the last year. Well, I decided to do something about that.

So, I gave my friend John a call, said "hey, I want to set up my reloading stuff, wanna chip in and help me out", and we went shopping.

We picked up most of my missing gear (still need a decent scale, a reader has generously offered to provide me with the economy model, and thank you sir), including a powder measure that doesn't work (and will be replaced), and a cheapo workbench kit (well... cheap for a workbench. It was still $60), and several hours later the closet in my office slash spare bedroom looks like this:

That's two lyman turret presses BTW, a T-mag and an O-mag, neither of which are made anymore, though there is a new T-mag model.

Later today we are picking up a replacement powder measure, and 1500 tumbled rounds (at a penny a pop, not a bad deal), and then watch out world, we're makin ammo.

There's some things I love about the economics of handloading. Once the gear is all purchased (about $500 for a reasonable setup, maybe as little as $200 if you scrounge), your costs are a fraction of retail price.

I know guys loading .45acp at $0.03 a round, because they cast their own and buy powder in bulk, but we're starting small; even then though, our costs are looking pretty good.

Here's the breakdown for 1000 rounds.

Powder: $15
Brass: $10
Primers: $15
Bullets: $50 for hard cast lead, or $85 for jacketed (we bought half and half)

Total: $90 for 1000 rounds (we have $110 into it, because half are jacketed), or about $0.09 a round.

The cheapest I can get .45acp at online is about $220 for 1000, unless you want to go with Wolf, which isn't reloadable, and is $170.

It's even better if you are a Gold Dot shooter, like I am. .45 acp gold dot sells at a minimum of $15 per box of 20, and may be over $20 depending on where and when you buy it. Lets jsut call it a nominal $20.

Gold dot bullets are availble as low $16 per 100 (I payed $18), or $120 per 1000. Applying the same powder, brass, and primer costs, you get $160 per 1000, or $0.16 per round; about 1/6 the cost of gold dots at retail.

Basically, we just saved ourselves 50% on our practice ammo, and if we wanted to carry reloads (which can be a bad idea liability wise) we would save almost 85% on our carry ammo. Once we start reloading our own brass it will be more than that. I'm really going to need a tumbler for that, which is about $60 minimum, but other than that (and the damn powder measure) we've got most everything we need.

Next step, reloading for my AR and M14. The MilSurp otions are a lot cheaper (relatively speaking) than commercial pistol rounds; but still, I can get .308 brass at $0.03 a round, and at $30 per thousand for powder, $15 for primers, and about $90 per thousand for bullets, thats $165 per thousand, about $20 less than Argentine MilSurp, and better quality - with, once again, a bigger difference when you take out the brass cost. It's even better compared against U.S. MilSurp, at about $250 per thousand, or U.S. Commercial at $400-$500 per 1000.

Oh, and again, if you want to go to premium grade ammo, the reloading components will run about $250 per thousand, and the commercial match grade... Oh, about $800-$1000 per thousand.

Unfortunately I seem to have lost my .308 and .223 die sets. I have my taper crimp dies for them, my case trimmer, and my berdan decapper and reamer even, but I can't find the actual dies. I've been through everything I have on the reloading front, so they are just gone. That means I'mna need to drop another $30 or so per die set, which I don't have., but it's still cheaper than buying the commercial stuff.

Oh, and the first loads we made up?

5.8gr titegroup pushing a 185gr GDHP - Should be a 19.5-20k psi load according to data; hot, but with plenty of room to spare under the 21k (or 23k for +p) pressure ceiling. We just ran off about 20 as a test, the rest of what we load is going to be lower pressure practice loadings.

What I'm thinkin on the hardcast 200gr SWC, is 5.1gr of titegroup, and maybe another loading at 5.6gr of HP-38; both ought to give about 900fps, give or take (damn, I wish I had a chrono). I've got some 185gr and 200gr JSWC as well, and I'm not sure what to load them to (damn, I REALLY wish I ahd a chrono).

Saw Sin City on friday BTW

Addiction and Manipulation

Ok, this one is even more personal, and will be somewhat crude, and more than somewhat sexual.

What I'm going to talk about is a painful subject. It's about addiction, it's explicit, and its brutal.
If you are thinking "too much information", stop reading now.

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I should confess, I am a diagnosed as sex addict, for whatever that's worth (I think psychiatrists and psychologists are mostly full of shit); but I'm generally very careful,and I'm prepared to accept the consequences of my actions, whatever they may be.

I have had a lot of sexual partners. I honestly don't remember anymore, but the last time I counted up it was about 200 total partners, and that was just the ones I could actually remember, I know there were more; since then I've had ... I don't know at least 20, maybe more... no it's definitely been more, because just counting in my head, I had at least 15 different partners last year. Actually thinking about it more, at least 20, because when I was in NYC at the beginning of the year I was with a lot of girls. Most of them were one night things, or maybe a couple of nights (or days) with only four girlfriends for more than a few weeks.

Of course I've also lied about the number of partners I've had, in order to get more partners, so you dont really know if I'm telling the truth or not. Hell I don't even know if I'm telling the truth or not, because there really have been so many that I honestly don't remember.

I used to joke that I remembered every single one, but I was lying. I can remember faces for most, but names... names are just gone. I remember them by the act, or how I picked them up, or who I was with, or what I was doing when it happened, but I don't remember their names.

This year, I had four partners from January to February 6th, but I have, by choice, not been with anyone since then. The opportunities have presented themselves, but I haven't chosen to pursue them.

There are times where I'll go by choice quite a while without sex, and then I'll generally be with one partner for a few months, and then when that relationship splits I'll have a few casual fucks, or maybe more than a few depending on my emotional and physical state. The day after I split with my wife I picked up two different women (one in the afternoon, and another late that night), and then the next two days three more.

Late last year, I met, and fell in love with a much younger woman (as in 9 years). We had a pretty good relationship for about three months, and then in January, we split over various things. I was with one of my neighbors, and with the on again off again girl the very next day (yes, both of them in the same day, actually the neighbor in the morning, the other girl in the late afternoon, and the neighbor again that night), and then the neighbor, and a different girl the next day.

I have had sex in my offices, in cars, boats, planes, helicopters, trains, in closets, elevators, in public, in the mall, in rooms full of people... I've done just about everything that hasn't involved children, close relatives, animals, mutiliation, or excrement.

The longest I've gone without sex since I was 13 years old, is 1 year, and that was by choice. The longest I've gone involuntarily is about 6 months, and it's pretty rare for me to go more than a month or so. When I start to feel like I need it, I'll jsut go find someone to fuck... and yes, it really is that easy if all you are looking to do is jsut fuck, and you dont care about ever seeing them again.

It's finding the ones you actually want to be with, and stay with that's hard.

If you substitute alcohol or drugs for sex in the paragraphs above, you might notice these are classic addictive behaviors. A period of absitinence, followed by a controlled period, and then a binge, followed by another period of abstinence.

Gettign laid is easy. Sometimes so easy that it can be boring. Thats what happened to me when I met my first fiance; I had become bored with the game, and tha'ts what it was to me; a game.

In my family I learned from a very young age, how to use my observational skills, and my deductive capabilities to predict how people would react and behave, and how to manipulate them using those skills, reactions, and behaviors. It was a survival skill, and believe me it was very necessary.

I learned early on that these same skills could be turned to my advantage sexually. I lost my virginity to a 17 year old welsh girl, on vacation with her parents in Disneyworld, two months before my 13th birthday.

Linda H. , I'll never forget you.

We met in the video arcade, and six hours later we were in the lake behind the hotel, having sex. We had sex three times that night, and I never saw her again.

I did this quite easily, by noticing things about her, listening, talking, .. I was using her own reactions against her, manipulating her to feel closer to me, at the same time making her thoughts turn more and more to the physical, the sensual, the erotic. Making her think about her fantasies, and her fears at the same time, hightening he excietment, and her insecurity, making her feel a need for both danger and safety... I'm not going to explain farther except to say that by the time I was done, she was literally touching herself almsot unconciously, pulling me to her, and rubbing my crotch right there in the arcade without even noticing it.

It sounds crass, or like bullshit to those who don't know, but it's easy if you know what you are doing. It doesnt matter what you look like, so long as you are clean, dont smell bad, and have the intelligence, and confidence to make people let their minds do what their bodies want to do anyway.

I spend the next five years having sex with other guys girlfriends in my high school, with college freshmen new into Boston, with european Au Pairs new to the U.S. , with dissatisfied housewives, with my mothers friends... The biggest age difference was when I was 17, I was with a 41 year old, gorgeous, and very unhappy wife of a much older man. She liked it rough, and she liked to be humiliated, and she liked to be able to cry...

During this time I was with well over 100 women, and every one of them thought they were coming off better in the deal; but I knew what I was doing.

I was, for all intents and purposes a predator. I was having sex, not because I wanted to have sex, but because I wanted to win. Getting women to have sex with me, while making them think it was all their idea the whole time, and I was just the right guy at the right time. Getting them to let their minds do what their bodies wanted to do anyway. That was the game.

Until I got tired of keeping score.

One day I jsut realized that I hated it. I didnt like the sex, I didnt like who I was having sex with, hell I wasnt even getting off. I would give women multiple orgasms, but I would have to jerk off for an hour, alone, to cum.

You see I'm a VERY controlled person. I have always kept a very tight rein on my emtions, because if you exposed weakness where I grew up, you were attacked, quickly, and viciously. The few times I let my emotions out, bad things happened. Sometimes very bad things happened... So I pretty much learned how not to have any emotions...

But you can't walk around living life every day without showing emotion, because people will be afraid of you; so I learned how to read people, and to adjust my apparent emotions and reactions to suit the emotions and reactions of others.

The thing is, it's not actually sex I'm addicted to. I'm addicted to the risk, and the control. The two greatest feeling of risk and control, are when you are fighting for your life, or skating right on the edge of death; and when you are seducing someone.

When you jump out of an airplane at 30,000 feet and you fall for minutes, into a situation you can't even describe... and you know that you are in control, you are master of life and death... in that moment you are the closest to seeing the mind of god you will ever be. Real life just doesnt't compare to it in any way.

The seduction is a pale immitation of it, because you can't die, but the emotional impact; the risk; it feels almost the same. It's so much less, but that feeling is the same... It's very hard to describe.

Those of you with any psychiatric background, or much exposure to it, know exactly where this is going. I was a classic dissociative sociopath, with an extremely elevated response threshold. Before you get all profiler on me, yes I liked to burn things as a kid (who doesnt), but I never tortured animals, I was never physically abused nor have I ever abused anyone (though there was considerable emotional abuse in my family. I LOATHE abuse with every fiber of my being in ways that some people find frightening for me to describe), and I do HAVE empathy, and a conscience, I just have the ability to turn them off when needed.

I am generally an extremely stable personality, and as I said very controlled. Not in the "so tight he's going to pop way", I just have the ability to... neutralize.. my emotions, and contorl my reactions, as away of dealing with stress. Is it healthy? No; but it's better than some ways I can think of, and it allows me to accomplish things when others are falling apart.

When I was a teenager, I wasnt in as good a shape. I compartmentalized my emotions and reactions so throughly and seamlessly that not even I knew what was real, and what was the mask. I had three different sets of friends (other than my true friends, of which there are less than 10, and I would kill or die for any of them without question), none of whom knew each other, and none of whom knew the same man, who jsut happened to share my body and my name; because I was three entirely different people, at least from their perspective. It was unconscious, automatic.. seamless.

I can't begin to describe to you how empty this is.

I lived like this for years, from the time I was a small child until my late teens.

One day I realized that I hadn't experienced a genuine emotion in several years; that I was just going through the motions. I had no pleasure, no fear, no lust, no anger... just loneliness, emptiness, frustration, and pain.

Literally the only time I felt anything was when I was with one of my best friends, when I had just "made the kill", or when I was flying.

I changed my life that day. I decided that I was going to loosen my control a little bit. That I was going to allow real emotions in my life. That I was going to stop treating the people around me as objects to be manipulated, and start treating them as people.

I was also in that phase of my life where I was regularly RISKING my life, jumping out of airplanes and helicopters, etc... which helped me to open myself up, and helped me to deal with stress in other ways.

A few weeks later I met the girl who I would get engaged to. A few months after that she killed herself.

I wasn't with anyone for a year, though lord knows the temptations were there. It would have been very easy to go back to the way I was before, to shut out the pain, and to start eating women like candy again. I didn't. I controlled myself, becaue I didnt want to be that person.

Then I met the woman I would marry. We were together four years, married for two of them, and I admit, during the hard times I would cheat. I would go out, and pick someone up, have sex with them, and then go back to my wife. It kept me sane, and let me stay with her when honestly I really shouldnt have. I should have never married her, but I literally went out, picked up this portugese girl, banged her to within an inch of her life, and went back and asked Drea to marry me; like it would solve all of our problems.

Of course getting married just made them worse, and as her mental illness progressed, I would deal with it; or rather, NOT deal with it by cheating more and more. There were times when she was physically and emotionally unable to have sex for a couple of months at a time; and after a week or two, I would be out having sex with a co-worker, or a neighbor, or jsut some girl I picked up in a book store or a coffee shop (two of the three best places to pick up women, the third being at some public event, gathering, or even public transport. The baset places are where people are thrown together in simultaneously intimate and isolating surroundings, where you have a good chance of finding a conversational clue to start with, and where people arent expecting a personal interaction).

Sex became how I dealt with stress after I got out of the Air Force. Before, I could shoot stuff, and jump out of airplanes, but after I moved to California, I didnt have a healthy outlet. I was working so damned much, and home was bad...

It was exactly like an alcoholic crawling into the bottle, or a junkie after the fix. The excitement was back, and the only time I really felt alive, whas when I was out there hunting for it.

Then my wife and I split, and I went a little crazy. I was in an environemnt where there were lots of good looking young women, who were easy pickings; and I picked.. with a new girl every day, sometimes a couple a day.. someitmes orgies or groups, or kink... I went wild for a few months.

Then I met Lisa.

Lisa was everything I needed. Lisa was my salvation. Once lisa and I were together, I wasnt with anyone else. That was it, cold turkey... until she and I were forcibly split up by her family, and there I was, crawling back into it again; five girls in five days, groups, whatever.

Then I met Antje, and I was faithful for a year. It was hard because a couple months into that year she moved from Ireland to Germany (where she was from originally), and I moved from Ireland back to the U.S. We only got to see each other four times after I moved, and it was months between each visit.

But I was faithful for a year. Finally I just couldnt stay faithful any more. I still loved her, but things were not going well at work, and my mother was not going well... I need to FUCK damnit, and so I did. I binged, and I was with maybe 5 girls in two weeks.

My binges usually go in threes, and fives... I don't know why.

I visited her about two months later, and all was well, but she wasnt going to move back to the US, and I wasnt going to move back to germany. We never actually broke up, we jsut sort of stopped talking one day...

And I binged again.

Then I met Sarah, and we were together a few months, lots of great sex, but she and I split up because she "feel like I just can't keep up with you. It's Like every word you say, you're just leaving me behind. You're great, you make me feel great when youre with me, and you try not to, and I try to keep up, but I jsut can't. You're just too much, too fast".

And I binged again

Then I met the on-again-off again, and I didnt really binge or purge for a few months, but she was kind of a substitute for that. Our relationship was pretty much just sexual; we cared about each other, but we didnt get along well enough to have a real long term relationship. We would get close for a few weeks, or a month or two at a time, then not talk with each other for a few weeks, maybe see someone else for a few weeks or a month etc...

Basically I used her like a maintenance valve; and she used me the same way; and we were both cool with that.

But then I met Amanda, and she was my own little binge. We dove in together, and it was incredible, and amazing, and intense and... she was a very damaged girl, and couldnt deal with a relationship.

And I binged...

I want to be with someone who loves, me, and who needs me, and who I love and I need. I want someone who I can be an equal partner with. I want someone who is both strong, and vulnerable. I want someone who needs me to take care of them a little bit; not a hell of a lot, but I'm a caregiver by nature, I need to be that way. I want someone who's affectionate. I want someone who has a libido like mine. I want someone who understands the pain, and the loss, and who I can share it with, and heal with. I want someone who's a litle crazy, but not too crazy.

I think maybe that might be too much to ask; It's so much easier just to find someone to fuck.

It's been a couple months, and I've been feeling that urge build up again. I knew this morning that in the next few days I was going to go out there and find someone to relieve the tension with.

Then this happened, and man, it's got me thrown.

I honestly don't know what this is going to do to me emotionally, I havent even begun to process it. I'm jsut so fucked up right now...

The worst thing I could do is go fuck somebody, but going from past history that's exactly what I'm going to do. I have a neighbor, who any time I can literally jsut walk into her apartment, throw her down, and fuck her brains out. She always acts like she doesnt want me to fuck her, until I've got my hands on her, and then she wants it sooo bad... She wants me to almost rape her; to take the decision out of her hands so she can surrender to being fucked without guilt or shame...

God that's so exciting when she's fighting with herself.. you can see that she wants it, you can smell it. Bring your hand up, and she moves her face to it. You touch her and she makes a sigh she doesnt even notice. Her hips thrust towards you without her control, but she cant make herself do it, and you take her, and you thrust inside her, and she screams and bites your shoulder and pulls you into her , and GOD DAMN!!!

That moment, you are everything to her, you have total control over her, and she's completely fallen free, into you. Total trust, total fear, release and exultation, all in that moment.

You don't know how much I want to go down there right now and fuck the hell out of her.

I choose not to right now, and my will can be very strong, but I AM an addict, and I break sometimes...

There are people who dont believe in sex addiction, or think this is bullshit. Have you ever known an addict? Take what I'm feeling, and what I've described, and put whiskey or heroin in place of sex, it's the exact same thing.

I dont want to excuse myself, I feel like shit about it, I just know what my reaction to things in the past has been.

I'm not gonna do it. I promise myself I'm not going to do it this time. I'm going to keep things together in other ways. I have things I need to do, and energy I can focus on other things, and thats what I'm going to do.

I can control this, and I have controlled it, it was always just easier before to eventually lose my control, and let it control me, and I wont let that happen this time.

I won't.

I don't really know what to say...

This is going to be very long, and very personal, so if you dont want to read way too much about my life, stop now.

When I was still a teenager, I got engaged to a girl who had left the mormon church; but herfamily were still active in a fundamentalist mormon splinter group. We had moved in together, and were making wedding plans, when she killed herself. Her family had driven her to it, because she was marrying outside the faith.

She was pregnant when she killed herself, and she hadn't told me. I don't know if she even knew.Ive told this story before, but I've never mentioned that detail.

I stayed away from other women for about a year after that, til I met the girl who I would marry. We were together for four years, married for two of them, and I never realized how mentally ill she was until we were already married, when she started getting worse and worse (and heavier and heavier. I met her at 5'3" and 160lbs, and by the time we split she was 305lbs). During our time together she had 5 miscarriages. We didnt use birth control for it's intended purpose, because she had been told she was unable to have children because of glandular/hormonal problems, but we tried using birth control to help control her hormones and her cycles. Well they didnt help very much, and they werent effective in preventing pregnancy. 5 times in four years she became pregnant without our noticing it until she had a painful miscarriage a couple months later. I think it was her final miscarriage that precipitated her last breakdown before I left for Ireland.

She was bi-polar, and pan-phobic with panic attack disorder. We had originally planned to go together, as a family; but her condition had worsened so much, I was afraid taking her to a foreign country would make her so bad she would kill herself. I asked her to get help, and she refused. Finally I told her that she had to get help, or I would leave her.

She refused.

The last time I saw her, I took her to her mothers with her saying she WOULD get help, and I went to Ireland to prepare the way for us both to move. After 8 weeks she called me. She had another miscarriage, and she was absolutely refusing to get help.

I haven't spoken with her directly since that day. We have only communicated by email a few times, though I have spoken with her mother. She attempted to commit suicide, and was involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric facility for three months.

I obtained a civil anullment on the grounds of undisclosed mental illness at the time of our marriage.

I still feel guilty about that... It was what I had to do, but that doesnt change the fact that I feel like I berayed her, gave up on her...

A few years ago I was very deeply in love with a woman. I had split with my wife a few months before, and I'd been with... actually more than a few girls since. I went a little wild, and I was with about 30 women in six months, but no-one serious.

This girl... I met her because of a wrong number text message, and we started talking, and we kept talking, and were in love within a few weeks, having never met each other in person. When we finally met a few weeks later we couldnt keep our hands off each other. We spent the weekend together, and didnt get out of bed for more than a few minutes. It was like that every time we were with each other for the next ... almost a year. We lived about 80 miles away from each other, so we mostly spent weekends together.

There were complications. She was 18, I was 24 (she was actually 17 when we first talked, and I was 23, but we didnt know that about each other yet, and it was in Ireland where that sort of thing is not unusual), and she lived at home, with her EXTREMELY controling mother, and her father who wouldnt stand up to his wife. But she truly loved her family, except for her mother, and oldest sister; especially her father. Very definitely a traditional "daddys little girl" lisa, and she couldnt bear to hurt him.

After a few months together, we decided that we were right for each other, and that we wanted to be together, for life. I had made the mistake of marrying someone I didnt really feel that way about before, believe me I wasnt blinded by lust, or being stupid, this was a woman I would kill or die for...

I'll be honest with you, I still would today. I have never felt this way about any other woman. I've loved others, I've felt deeply for others, but I've never felt like somene else was a part of me, and I of her like that. I've never opened myself like that before or since.

I love my mother, and my best friend, but today if you asked me who I would save in the sinking raft, it would be Lisa.

We also decided that we wanted to have children together, and we stopped using protection. Finally, she decided she was going to leave home, and move in with me. She was supposed to tell her family that she was going to do this, but she was too scared to, and she just went with me, without telling them.

It wasn't a good situation. Her family obviously freaked out. Though Lisa called them and told them her decision, and where she was, that she was OK etc... they were... irrational.

Her uncle is a senior Gardai (the police) official, and they tried to have him arrest me, or get me deported (no grounds, and I'm a citizen), which failed, btu I was harrassed for a fe wdays... anyway it wasn't good.

A few days later Lisa was kidnapped by her parents. She was going to meet them at a transport cafe, and when she was there, they drugged her and restrained her, then took her out to a relatives farm out in the middle of nowhere. They held her there against her will for several weeks. When they finally let her out, she called me, and told me they gave her an ultimatum. If she went with me, or ever spoke to me again, they would cut her off completely. She would never be allowed to see or speak to them ever again.

She told them that she would go with me, and she was calling me to pick her up...

I made the hardest choice of my life that moment; I told her no.

I loved her, and I wanted to be with her, but I knew what her family meant to her. I knew that if she was with me on those terms that she would hate me for it forever, and I couldnt take her away from her father and her brother and sisters like that.

Every few weeks she would sneak a call to me, or a text message. A few months went by, and she told me she had gotten drunk a few weeks after we were split up, and slept with a guy, and now she was pregnant...

I don't know if that child is really mine, or if it was actually the result of this drunken night. The timing was just too close... The thought of it right now is incredibly painful. I'm actually having chest pains thinking about it right now...

Just before I started writing this, I had a very disturbing conversation...

I've had an on again off again girlfriend for about a year now. Our relationship has really been just sexual; we care about each other, but we dont get along well enough to have a real long term relationship. We'll get close for a few weeks, or a month or two at a time, then we'll not talk with each other for a few weeks, maybe see someone else for a month or two etc...

All in all a comfortable, and not very serious relationship.

I haven't seen her since the week before the superbowl, when we had a lot of pretty good, and pretty rough, sex. I hadnt seen her for a few weeks before that, and then maybe a month before that.

Both of us are regualrly tested (every six months), and we used birth control(birth control pills, and spermicidal lubricant), so we regularly had unprotected sex, including that time.

She just called me up, and she told me that she was pregnant, and had an abortion (actually took an abortion pill) a few weeks ago; that at first she thought it was a guy she started seeing just after the superbowl, but that by the timing it had to be me, and that's why she hadn't called me. She wasn't planning on telling me, but she decided today to call and tell me.

Now we had discussed this before; what would happen if she were to get pregnant, what her thoughts, were, what mine were etc...

I've had this talk with all my partners I've had unprotected sex with, and most of my partners in general; minus the one nighters, and I'm prepared to accept the consequences of my actions, no matter what they are.

I believe that abortion for convenience is unquestionably morally wrong. I believe that while the woman is the most effected physically, that the father should have some input into the decision, (morally, not necessarily legally). I also believe that the law should stay entirely out of this entire area of our lives.

I honestly didnt know what to say. I still don't. I'm EXTREMELY upset by this.. so much so I can't put it into words.

She was so casual about it... and I know it wasn't just an act. She said "So I was pregnant, and I had an abortion" just as if she was saying "I had a hangnail, and I had it removed". I know she never wants any children of any kind, that she has odd beliefs and ideas... actually I think she might be mildly autistic, or she has aspergers syndrome; her reactions to are just... not right, is the best way of putting it I suppose but...

Like nothing at all; and she wasn't even going to tell me.

TTLB is hosed up - Again

For some reason, my TTLB link counts and seem to be changing randomly. The last few db updates I've had 92 links, 76 links, and now 56 links, and my average daily site visits have shown anywhere from 289 to 650 (according to sitemeter the average is actually 489)

I know for a fact that my links aren't falling off pages that quickly (look at Technorati to show that), and a few others have reported the same thing.

I realize this is something that NZ Bear does out of pure coolness but man; you need some DB or engine help or something.

UPDATE: Okay, now I'm supposedly down to like 40 links. A couple hundred others have noted the same problems, and several dozen people have reported they've been de-listed for no apparent reason. Looking through the link rankings, there do not appear to be ANY blogs that have more than 65 links, but less than 120 links to them.

There are currently less than 120 marauding marsupials (down from about 500), less than 200 adorable rodents (down from like 1000), less than 300 flappy birds (from over 1000); but the lower ranks don't seem to have changed much, and there's been no significant reduction in the total number of blogs listed as far as I can tell. The last time I checked before today it was 18000, and now it's 21000.

Yeah... sumtin wrong there boys.

So to summarize, in 5 days I've gone from 92 links to 40, my rank has gone from 982 to 3247, and I've gone from the upper middle of the marauding marsupials, to the bottom of the flappy birds, along with apparently every blog with between 65 and 120 links.

NZ Bear is apparently on his honeymoon at the moment (congrats to you sir), and understandably he's not responding to email.

Requiescat In Pace

Sanctissimus Pater, Ioannas Paulus due, Episcopus Ecclesia Catholicae in Roma, Servus Servorum Dei, Vice Deo Christi in Terra, Pontifex Maximus; est mortuus.

Requiescat In Pace

The Golden Triangle

In my post "Mixed Drill" I talked about Golden Triangle targeting in my weekly practice; and various training targets, specifically the IPSC standard Silouhette, and the NRA TQ15 target:

Obviously the IPSC target has a smaller scoring area, that conforms generally to the standard Center of Mass (COM) targeting area.

COM targeting is the standard that's been tought since the developement of practical pistol instruction by Col. Jeff Cooper, Sherrif Jack Weaver, and others; in southern California in the early 50's.

There are some pretty good reason for that: it works pretty well, it's easy to teach, and it's easy to accomplish (relatively).

The goal of practical pistol training is to teach people to "shoot to stop"; stop the fight, stop the attack, stop the threat.

So how do you shoot to stop?

Shock (in the medical sense) is the most effective way of stopping a fight, but it is impossible to reliably predict what will cause shock, or what it's effects will be, so you can't deliberately shoot to cause shock. To be effective, you have to shoot for what you can reliably predict as a high percentage stop (not just a high percentage hit). The only reliably predictable means of rapidly ending the ability of a hostile to be a threat are as follows:

• Destroy or stop the heart.
  
  If blood can't pump, it's not long before the threat stops moving. Other organs will kill almost as effectively (especially the liver), but won't be fast enough to end a fight before the assailant can effectively fight back.

  Even a destroyed heart is surviviable, and it is possible for someone with an effectively destroyed heart to function for several seconds, up to several minutes; but generally speaking, a solid heart shot is the easiest way to stop someone with a handgun.

  Remember also, the heart itself need not be destroyed for an effective heart stop. If major vessels surrounding the heart, or the muscle itself are seriously damaged, the pericardium (the sac around the heart) will fill up with blood and cause congestive failure relatively rapidly.

• Cut a major blood vessel (or several if possible).
  
  This will cause a rapid and massive drop in blood pressure, and a large drop in the oxygen saturation of the blood (also potentially causing heart, lung, or organ failure). No blood pressure and/or low oxygen means no motion, and potential loss of consciousness.

• Destroy the airway, or the diaphraghm.
  
  A lung shot can be effective in killing, and it's easier to accomplish (because the lungs are the largest target in the body), but a single lung shot is relatively slow in causing death so it isn't very effective in stopping a fight.
  
  With one lung disabled, destroyed, or filling up with blood, a person can still breath and function. Without a diaphraghm however, the lungs cannot be inflated or compressed to breathe; and without a clear airway, air can't reach the lungs.
  
  With no air at all, a person will have a few seconds, to at most a few minutes (4 minutes at rest, and as little as 15 seconds in an excited state) of effective action.

• Cause a critical central nervous system (CNS) disruption.

  
  By destroying or seriously damaging the spinal cord, the brain, or less effectively, a major nerve junction (such as the brachial plexus) you can effectively stop someone completely, or at the very least significantly reduce their effectiveness.
  
  This can be the most effective means of ending a fight, but it is also the most difficult shot to accomplish of these listed; both in accuracy required, and in damage required, because the targets are relatively small, deep in the body, and heavily protected by bone and muscle.
  

If any of the above prove impossible, destroying a major supporting skeletal structure such as the spine, the pelvic girdle (the hip joints), or a primary joint such as the brachial junction (the shoulder area where the scapula, clavicle, and humerus come together) CAN be effective, but they aren't reliably so. What they WILL do, is effectively limit the mobility of your target, and enable you to retreat more effectively. In any case, these shots will be ineffective in stopping a fight unless a major caliber, and a heavy, solidly constructed bullet are used.

Center of mass targeting is designed specifically to give you the best chance of doing any of those things. The largest blood vessels in the body, the diaphragam, the pericardium, the heart itself, and the spine, are all clustered into the center of mass.

COM is a relatively large area, and humans are good at judging the mid point (or midline) of objects, instinctivley pointing to the middle of something; so it can be instinctively easier to hit the center of mass.

If you aim at the center of mass, and miss high or low; you are going to hit the throat, face, or pelvic girdle, all of which can be effective targeting areas as well.

For all of these reasons; for most people, and in most situations, the COM is the easist stopping shot to make, and the best shot to take.

Actually an important principle: THEY are actually the best SHOTS to take, because you keep shooting until the threat is neutralized or removed.

lets say that again: Keep shooting until the threat is neutralized or removed

Over the last few years, a supplemental targeting location has started to become popular. Called the "Golden Triangle", it consists of the area described by a triangle from either the center of the forehead, between the eyes, or the bridge of the nose; to the nipples, the level of the elbows on the torso (the bottom of the rib cage), or the kidneys. It's fuzzily defined, because there are a few different people teaching this, and the doctrine isn't well developed yet.

The idea behind the golden triangle is that the COM targeting area has a few weaknesses:

• COM ignores the head, upper blood vessels, and upper airway
• The lower half of the COM targeting area is relatively inneffective for rapidly stopping a fight, except for the major blood vessel shots, which are deep in the body.
  
• The vital structures so emphasized in COM targeting are heavily protected with muscle and bone, are very deep in the body, or both.
• COM is the most protected area on armored subjects, and handguns will most often prove to be inneffective with the COM targeting area on an armored subject. In fact, if the subject is wearing a trauma plate, many rifles may be inneffective (relatively) as well.
  

The strengths of the golden triangle can counteract these weaknesses to some extent, because the golden triangle specifically emphasises the chest from the diaphraghm up, the heart, the lungs, the throat, and the face:

• The golden triangle contains the entirety of the most effective upper portion of the COM
  
• The golden triangle gives a better chance of a heart or pericardium shot
• The major blood vessels are more exposed, with less tissue and muscle, and less depth in the body, in the area of the golden triangle.
• The CNS is more exposed, with less protection and depth in the body in the area of the golden triangle.
• The golden triangle specifically allows for head shots, in the areas of the skull with the thinnest protection.
• The golden triangle allows easier transition to direct headshots, and to femoral artery shots if only a leg is exposed in a cover or crouched position.
• Golden triangle shots are highly likely to result in broken ribs, and sternum, which can send fragments into the lungs, heart, and/or pericardium. With proper multiple shot technique, and a major caliber (small calibers will most likely simply deflect off bone), this can be a very effective stopping mechanism.
• If a golden triangle shot is not possible, or is more difficult, it is easy to transition into a COM shot, or a pelvic girdle shot (the pelvic girdle should be shot off the center line).
• On an armored subject, the upper portion of the golden triangle will be the lighest armored (or unarmored) part of the body, and even when the armro does not fail, there is a significantly higher likelihood of a disabling shot through crush or fracture.
  

The golden triangle isn't intended to replace the COM targeting area entirely, it is meant to be a supplement to it. Effective use of a handgun to stop a fight is a matter of percentages. Even a direct heart shot from a handgun can be survivable, and in some cases will not effectively stop an opponent, but it gives you the highest percentage chance of neutralizing a threat. What you want to do, is maximize your percentages whenever possible.

The COM give you your best hit percentage (because it's easier to hit than the GT), but the golden triangle gives you the best stopping percentage (because more vitals are concetrated in the triangle) - if you can make the hit.

So the basic idea is this. You try for the GT shot when possible, and when not possible you transition to the COM shot, or to the direct head, femoral, or pelvic shot.

Advanced techniques can also be taught, such as "shooting the triangle", where three shots (or even better three doubletaps) are made at the points of the golden triangle, starting at the low dominant side, allowing the natural rise of the weapon in recovery to bring your point of aim up to the center of the face, and then your natural muscle tendencies during the recovery to pull your point of aim to the offhand and bottom of the targeting area. If your motion is correct you will end up with an upper lung or a peri or heart shot, a face or throat shot, and a second upper lung shot on the other side. Doubletaps will make this procedure far more effective, as your natural tendency will be to spread the taps along the line of your motion, producing more wounded tissue over a greater area, and greatly increasing the chances of a critical hit.

You can change this up to the "illuminati" drill very simply, by transitioning from the stong side lower shot, into a midline shot instead of the face shot, then allow the recoil of the midline shot to carry the point of aim up into the face, and then finish describing the triangle with the offside lower shot.

This drill is especially effective from a strongside holster (Assuming you have your body rotated off axis to the buject as you should), because it uses your natural sweep, and muscle motion tendencies to describe the arcs for your points of aim. It is a great improvement over the basic mozambique in terms of wounding potential, though it is more difficult to accomplish from ready position.

If you really want to seal the drill off you can "describe the diamond", where again you let your natural muscle tendencies pull your point of aim back in and down, and put a shot into the pelvic girdle. With a doubletap, your natural tendency will be to place one hit on both sides of the mid-line, the most effective possible pelvic shot.

While it is possible to survive this (hell it's possible to survive almsot anything), it's HIGHLY unlikely, and nearly impossible that the subject will continue to be a threat; which is what this is all about.

Mixed Drill

Well I'm done with my CCW course, and I actually enjoyed myself, which is surprising considering I've already done it once before (I let mine expire without renewing it)

So, given I was just in training, I wanted to talk about it, and about some basic tactical concept in general.

The first day we started out with some basics about handguns, maintenance, proper procedures etc... All of the shooters in my class (all five of us) had semi-autos with us (3 1911's and 2 beretta 92's actually); but we went over revolvers quite a bit as well. We had three experienced shooters (including myself) in the class, but the other two students were gun novices; so the gun basics were pretty useful to them at least, and honestly, I never get tired of talking about guns, or sharing my experiences, and netierh were the other two 1911 guys.

In the middle of the day, we moved into ammunition selection. First we talked a bit about ammo, then we watched an hour long video with (now retired Col.) Dr. Martin Fackler; almost certainly the worlds foremost expert on wound ballistics. The video was more than a bit out of date; being made in '87 the physics and biology haven't changed, but the construction of a lot of bullets has. In the last 18 years, the quality and construction of factory ammunition, especially expanding ammunition such as hollowpoints; has improved GREATLY. Other than that though, their basic recommendations were sound.

Here's a combination of the videos, and my own recommendations on ammo selection

• Shot placement is far more important than ammunition selection
• Permanent wound cavity size is the most important factor in causing neutralizing wounds
• Penetration is the most important single factor in creating a large permanent wound cavity
• Bullet weight is the most important single factor in penetration
• Bullet diameter is the second biggest factor in creating a large permanent wound cavity
• Use the biggest bullet you can, because it will create the largest permanent wound cavity
• Expanding bullets can be good because they will create a larger permanent wound cavity if they expand; but don't depend on expansion, because frequently expanding bullets don't
• Even if an expanding bullet doesnt expand, so long as it doesn't disintegrate and maintains penetration, it will perform no worse than a non-expanding bullet; so assuming your weapon is reliable with expanding ammo, it's generally a better choice.

• Velocity is relatively unimportant, except as it aids in penetration (or expansion). The large temporary cavity caused by high velocity rounds isn't irrelevant, but it isn't a reliable mechanism for causing neutralizing wounds from pistols (major caliber rifles are a different story), because the shock created is within the limit of most tissues ability to absorb it; you are far better off depending on penetration, and diameter to create a large permanent wound cavity.

The afternoon of day 1 was spent going over the laws that apply to firearms in this state. Most importantly we went through the doctrines and laws surrounding justification of the use of force.

This is a pretty critical discussion, not just for people who will carry concealed, but really everyone (even people who don't own guns), because you never know when you will need to defend yourself. In Arizona the fundamental principle of the law is pretty simple:

You are justified in using lethal force, or the threat of lethal force, to defend yourself or others; against a present, immediate, and credible threat to life, as you percieve it. There is no direct statutary duty to retreat, and the castle doctrine applies; however the reasonable man doctrine also applies so you'd better be damned sure you are justified in shooting; which brings up the next bit.

While the principle is clear, it gets more complicated in practice; and we spent a lot of time talking about when you might be justified, and when you would not be; as well as discussing the crimes you are legally allowed to prevent with lethal force (or the threat of lethal force), and when you should or should not do so (even if you are legally justified). There is a list of 10 crimes that you are technically legally justified in using lethal force to prevent, however if a reasonable man believes that your decision to use lethal force was not a last and only resort (as far as you knew), then your actions can be held as unjustified, and you may be charged.

We also discussed general firearms laws, and the laws relating to concealed carry specifically (ars13-3112);about other laws that could effect our permits, and our rights to own and carry firearms (like the unconstitutional domestic violence provisions); and exactly what a firearm, a deadly weapon, and a dangerous instrument are. Finally we talked about reciprocity, the laws of other states, and the laws concerning travel and transportation.

Day two, we spent the morning shooting the practice course for about 4 hours; and the afternoon going over shoot-don't-shoot excercises, and mental conditioning.

The basic practice course involved 80 rounds, mixed 1- 6 shot strings, at 3, 5, 7, and 10 yards; with tactical or stress reloads for any string longer than 3 shots. Each drill started and ended in the holster, some with or without pause at ready position after 2 or 3 shots.

At 5, 7, and 10 yards we did a tactical or stress reload; and at each range we did a stovepipe drill, an FTF (failure to fire) drill, and an FTE (failure to extract/eject) drill.

For these drills we used an IPSC standard silouhette target:

In the entire 80 shots, I only placed 4 out of the A zone; but my hits were ALL OVER the place in the A zone (and I do mean all over the place, the entire area was peppered).

For the last few years I've pretty much stopped doing accuracy drills. You can't miss fast enough to win, but so long as you KNOW you are going to hit in the vital zone within 15 yards, I believe that speed is the most important factor in defensive shooting.

I belive that a handgun is an inherently innaccurate, and short range weapon; that should only be used to effect a safe retreat either out of danger, or to a more effective firearm (a rifle or shotgun). Given this precept, I figure once I've reached (and can maintain) a basic standard of accuracy, the best thing I can do (tactically) is get faster.

When I say I KNOW I can hit what I'm aiming at, this is what I mean:

Top Right: .357 sig, SIG p229, 25 yards, 5 shot slow fire, 1.5", 4 in just under 3/4" Bottom Right: .40 S&W, SIG p229, 25 yards, 12 shot rapid fire, 8 "x", 3 "10", 1 "9"

Bottom Left: .45 acp Champion, 25 yards, 5 shot rapid fire, 1-3/4"
Top Left: .45 acp Champion, 7 yards, 5 shot rapid fire, 1.25" 4 in 3/4"

A slight disclaimer, the top right was the best 25 yard off hand group of my LIFE. Oh and both the groups with the Champion were from the box stock gun before I had Yost work it over.

On a good day, from ready position I can empty my 1911 in about 2 seconds, and have all nine hits in the golden triangle (a triangle from the bridge of the nose to the nipples, or to the kidneys depending on who's doing the teaching), at any range up to 15 yards. I can do this with all of my handguns, except the Kahr; with which I can manage it from 3 to 7 yards (the only ranges I practice at with it). I can generally do the same with 5 rounds in less than 1 second. I can pull 2 mozambiques in less than 3 seconds, sometimes managing three in as little as 2 seconds.

It's funny, but I actually shoot better (relatively speaking) rapid fire than I do slow fire (as anyone who shoots with me can verify, because I bitch about it constantly). I guess I overthink my slowfire a bit or something.

So, I was fast: I had two IPSC Open class competitors shooting next to me, (with their standard class guns not their open guns; a beautiful STI, and an even better looking Wilson), and I was out, fired, and back in the holster by the time they had finished firing.

Yeah, I really am that fast, and that accurate (at least on my good days).

I was accurate enough; as I said, I only had four rounds out of the A zone the entire time; but I wasn't happy with my accuracy, and what it comes down to is this: man do I need to do more holster drills, and I suck when I miss a few weeks of practice. It's been a few weeks since I've been able to shoot, and a few months since I've been able to do any holster work, and it shows.

My first shot from the holster was generally low and/or to the left, and my second was usually in the center, or to the upper right, where I actually wanted them to be. Basically my ready position reflexes were fighting my holster reflexes, because I haven't been practicing enough from the holster. I was anticipating my sight alignment a bit too much, and didn't have my grip fixed properly on the first shot; but by my second shot I was in position, and the correct reaction to the initial shots recoil was part of my trained reflex, so my sights were properly aligned on reset, and the shot was placed where I wanted it.

Worse than my poor performance from the holster; I had 3 actual malfunctions during the drills. The Remington green box hollowpoints are a bit long for my gun, and they don't like to eject. It seemed like the nose of the round below was impacting the rim of the extracting case, pulling it clear of the extractor, and causing a doublefeed. So I had to clear three doublefeeds, and continue the drills to completion. The first shot after each doublefeed was poorly placed; in fact two of the C shots, and the one D shot I had of the 4 non-A shots were after malfunction clearances. It was good practice actually, but not what you want to be doing. Obviously I won't be buying the greenbox for this gun again, I just thought I'd cheap out this time; so I pretty much deserved what I got.

After the practice drills we had our proficiency shoot. The state mandates a minimum of 10 shots, 70% of which must be within the scoring area using NRA TQ-15 targets:

The proficiency course we shot consisted of 7 strings, each string beginning and ending in the holster:

• 2x1 shot strings to the head from 3 yards
• 3x2 shot strings to center mass from 5 yards
• 2x6 shot strings to center mass from 10 yards with a tactical or stress reload in each string

This is a little tougher than the state reqires (5 shots at 5 yards, and 5 shots at 10 yards), but I think it's a pretty reasonable minimum qualification. I scored both head shots in the center of the head, touching; and all 18 of the center shots in the inner scoring area, though I had an FTE again in the middle of the first 10 yard string. For that one I just did a strip, rack, rack, reload drill, and made the final three shots.

In the afternoon we talked about the mindset required for the use of lethal force, and shoot-don't-shoot situations.

A few years ago I ran through the basic defensive pistol class at Gunsite (the 250 course). During the course we got the "mental conditioning" seminar, and the Jeff Cooper "color code" was an important part of the tactical concepts we practiced in the course (although the Col. was on hiatus when I took the course, I did meet him when I fixed his internet access. Interesting guy).

Our mental preparation discussions started off with a tape of Col. Cooper giving the talk, in what looked like the early 80's (from the haircuts). Cooper did the talk better than my original instructor (Mark somethingorother), and no-one has really said it better: You must be able to identify, assess, and respond to threats (or potential threats) appropriately, and instantly, anywhere, at any time.

Its something I learned from martial arts a long time before I was at Gunsite, but the cooper color code system is the first exposure most people will ever have to threat response methodology, or even to the attitudes that make threat response possible.

There are four basic mental conditions, because three isn't enough, and five is too much (Keep It Simple Stupid):

White: Relaxed, un-aware, minimal alertness.

When you are in condition white, you are unprepared for threats. It will be difficult, and more importantly SLOW, for you to respond to a potential danger. If you are attacked in condition white, you will most likely be killed. The only way you WON'T be killed, is if the threat is incompetent (or as Col. Copper put it, "if the goblin is an idiot", followed by Robbie Barrkmans Rhodesian beer party story, which is hilarious)

This is the state that most people are in, most of the time. In fact, most dont even know that other states exist, until it's too late.

Yellow: Relaxed, aware, alert to potential threats.

When you are in condition yellow, you are in a state of relaxed alertness. You watch, you listen, and you assess everything that you see or hear as to it's threat potential.

This isn't to say you are paranoid, it's really jsut a matter of paying attention, and being mentally prepared to respond should it become necessary.

This state can be maintained basically for your entire life, and it should be. That said, t is difficult to maintain this state when you are in comfortable, or trusted surroundings. In your home, and in your job, you should feel safe after all; and it's easy to let your guard down, but those may be the situations you need this mental preparation most most.

Orange: Specific alert, actively responsive to potential threats.

In condition orange, you have identified a specific threat or potential threat, you have asessed it, and you have mentally prepared yourself to respond. You have not decided to act, but you have mentally prepared yourself to act if it necessary.

The van up ahead with the blacked out windows, that guy you see hanging out in the shadows, the dark corner you need to go around; you have a mental plan of action for what to do when and if your potential threat materializes.

This state can be maintained almost indefinitely, for hours or even days if necessary, but not permanently. The level of alertness associated with condition orange is fatiguing, and it also makes it more difficult to respond appropriately to non-threat interaction.

Red: Threat response, if-then

In condition red, a specific threat has been identified and assessed, and a course of action has been decided upon. If the threat does this (move, aim, draw etc...), you will do this (shoot, run, yell etc..), INSTANTLY. Condition red is your final stop point, beyond this is only direct action, and it WILL happen on reflex. He moves, you WILL shoot him; he raises his gun, you WILL run etc...

That's the system, and it will save your life. Threat response isn't something you can just DO when someone attacks you; by then it's far too late. Threat response must be something you do by reflex, and it must be consistent. You do this the same way, each time, every time, until it's unconscious and automatic.

Let me say this again; you repeat your threat asessment consciously and continuously, until it becomes an unconsious reflex. It's something you do all the time, and the only time you notice, is when a threat becomes real.. or when the alertness helps you in some other way...

Yup, that system is very useful in other areas of your life. It's great when you're driving, it's great for sports, it's great for poker.

The craziest bit, the color code will even help you pick up those of your chosen sex (no, I'm not kidding). In the case of straight males, women like it when you notice things about them; Their hair, nails, shoes, outfit, whatever; more importantly, their body language and conversational clues, that most men are clueless about and don't even notice.

Anyway...

We finished up the day with a review of shoot-don't shoot scenarios, and went into the reasoning behind them; then we had our test (which is ridiculously easy), inked our ten cards, and that was it.

16 hours, 100 rounds fired, and a complete change in most peoples thoughts about guns, and responses to threats.

Even if you dont intend to carry concealed on the street, I HIGHLY recommend you take a CCW course. The permit is a useful thing to have in general, and the issues covered in the course are things every gun owner should recieve training in.

Now I just have to wait the 7-75 days for the permit to come back to me (it usually takes a week to two weeks).

What's in your pockets?

I mentioned the other day that I usually carrry 10 to 15 lbs of gear on my person at any time, and that got me thinking about this list I made up for the NOR forums about what exactly I DO carry every day (and it's a lot).

If we limit it to the contents of just my pants pockets it's not too much, but I'm usually wearing either a leather vest with 5 pockets, a 511 adventure vest with over 20 pockets, or a jacket with a bunch of pockets, often well loaded with stuff. I also wear a wilderness, Rafter S, AdventureTech, or other duty belt with a bunch of stuff hanging off it.

I'm limiting to the stuff I carry every day, not what I carry when Im expecting interesting social situations.

Pants:

1. one of the following: Mel Pardue Ambush, Ken Onion blackout, Benchmade auto reflex
2. keychain with my normal keys, a handcuff key with LED light, a high strength caribiner, 2" of web strapping, and a mag lite solitaire
3. A zippo lighter (I don't smoke)
4. Wallet with normal cards and ID, money (I try to keep at elast $100 on me at all times) two spare keys, and a polyamide credit card knife.
5. One of the following: SureFire A2 Aviator, SureFire E2 executive, SureFire 6P
6. Mints of some kind, most likely in a tin packed with cotton to avoid rattling.
7. Pepper spray

The mints, spray, and big light may end up in the vest or jacket depending.

Belt:

1. One of the following: Springfield champion .45, H&K USP compact in .45, or Kahr K9, and at least one spare mag for whichever, maybe two, usually in a kydex IWB (reloads may be in the vest)
2. Buck or Gerber multi-tool
3. Cell phone
4. Palm Tungsten T PDA in a soft belt case (may be in the vest instead), notepad, and pen
5. There may be a mini-maglight or a 2c or 4d light hanging off here depending

511 Vest:

1. Two reloads for whatever pistol I am carrying (assuming they arent on the belt)
2. Mints as above
3. A pair of leather gloves
4. Nasalspray, Sudafed, Advil, Zantac, Tagamet, and tums
5. A pair of handcuffs, or some zip ties (unless they're on the belt)
6. A larger pepper spray (I'll leave the pants one off)
7. Sunglasses
8. 50ft of paracord
9. a bottle of water in one of the large bottle pockets
10. Unless I'm carrying it on my belt, the Kahr K9 may be in the vest, even if I'm carrying another gun

If I'm wearing cowboy boots (a not infrequent occurance) I've probably got a cold steel peacekeeper II in them as well.

Like I said, I carry a lot of crap.

My Springfield Champion

I've mentioned my champion a bunch of times, but I havent ever talked in detail about it; well, here it is (before I changed the slide stop and the safety, click for full size):

And t'other side:

Between what comes on it from the factory (quite a lot for the money), and the work I've had done to it or done myself) it's one hell of a piece; Some folks may even consider this work excessive for a 1911, but I'm very happy with it:

1. Polished integrated ramped, match bull barrel with a fully supported chamber (for .45super)
2. Titanium firing pin
3. Tuned custom hammer and trigger group with a 3.25# pull
4. Ultra short, ultra light, adjustable trigger
5. Tuned extractor
6. Tuned ejector
7. Dual captured recoil system with 22# wolff springs (for .45 super)
8. Tightened and trued frame and slide (but not too tightened)
9. Checkered arched mainspring housing
10. Wraparound hogue finger groove grips
11. Torx head grip screws
12. Lowerd and flared ejection port
13. Lowered, extended, and thinned tool steel ambi-dextrous safety
14. Lowered, extended, and thinned tool steel slide stop
15. Beveled mag well
16. Novak lo-profile combat sights with tritium inserts.
17. Recessed angle cut muzzle crown
18. Wilson mags with steel ultrathin base plates
19. Full wolff sring set
20. Slide flats trued and polished, the rest of the gun bead blasted

It's 100% reliable, and on my best days makes cloverleaf groups and touching doubletaps at any range up to 25 yards.

The thing is, almost all of that was from the factory for $800 (about $150 off retail). It's as much "stuff" as my Wilson from 7 years ago has, for 1/3 the price. The smith work was another $300, including parts, and maybe another $300 in other parts (4 wilson mags, slide stop, safety, springs).

I dont consider any of that excessive, though certainly not all of it was completely necessary. It's exactly the gun I want, and it preforms perfectly.

Good Triggers

I was thinking about my Champion, my Kahr, and triggers. From time to time the question arises, what makes a good pistol or revolver trigger (rifle triggers are a whole 'nother ball game).

In a factory trigger there should be about 1/16" of weightless takeup, then 1/32" or so of takeup under pressure as the trigger engages the sear, with maybe just a little bit of creep (1/16" is too much for a good trigger) followed by a snap break at 5-6lbs. Excessive takeup, roughness, or creep (especially with roughness or stacking, even worse if uneven or stairstep) are causes for a concern.

Unfortunately, a lot of factories produce truly horrendous triggers out of the box; either from liability concern, or simply from poor tolerances. It is very difficult to get consistent accuracy with a bad triger, and you shouldnt ever have to; especially with a 1911.

A competition 1911 trigger is generally around 2.5-3lbs with basically 0 takeup, 0 creep, and 0 overtravel. The problem is if you get down to 0, especially at that light weight there's a good chance of doubling.

In my opinion, a carry trigger should be no lighter than 3lbs, and I prefer 3.25-3.5lbs (most copsand instructors will say 4 and 4.25-4.5 jsut for lawyer safety), with a max of 4.5-5 lbs in a 1911, and maybe up to 6.5-7lbs in a DA/SA (though I'd still prefer 4.5).

Never let a gunsmith you don't trust explicitly work on your trigger; we've all seen far too many butchered guns and deadly triggers.

[rant_mode=on]

Oh and anyone who tells you that "Any good trigger will have zero creep" is talkin out their ass, or hasn't shot anything except pre-1970 Smith and Wesson revolvers, and/or target rifles.

It is almost impossible to get a reliable and safe auto pistol trigger at a reasonable weight with 0 creep. You CAN have an ultra light trigger with 0 creep, but if you don't double that sucker at least once it'd be incredible; hell even with a 3lb trigger it's easy to double during recoil with +p loads if you arent paying attention. You can have an ultra heavy trigger with 0 creep, but... why?

A very little bit of creep is actually a good thing for safety and reliability (and I do mean VERY little).

Trigger pull weenies get fixated on creep as the evil of evils, when in reality that title goes to stacking. Stacking is the evil of all evils. Inconsistent, stairstep, changes from shot to shot stacking. Stacking makes consistency impossible, and consistency is what igves you good groups.

I think the reason this whole creep thing became such a big deal was that the S&W revolver guys had to have something to bitch about the autos when the mass changes started in the 70's, and it was ingrained in everyone since.

Combine that with the rise of IPSC, and you have these guys out there with 6000 grit stones (about the same abrasiveness as a piece of construction paper) masturbat.... I mean polishing their sears, triggers, and hammers to astronomical instrument tolerances.

Of course the second they shoot these ungodly overstoned guns the polish develops blemishes, the edges of the parts chip, engagement becomes iffy and unreliable etc.....

No thanks, I'll take a little creep with my trigger thank you.

[rant_mode=off]

The funny thing is, S&W still does the best triggers of any factory. If you ever want to see a truly perfect 1911 trigger, pick up a performance center SW1911 and squeeze a time or two. Wilson, Les Baer, Ed Brown, Ted yost, they can all go pound sand, this is the perfect 1911 trigger.

Of course if you ever want to feel the most perfect trigger ever put on centerfire handgun, thats real easy; if that is you can get one of their owners to let you pry it out of their hands for a second. Go and squeeze a 1965 era S&W Model 29. Really anything from '57 til '68 will do (before they retooled and fired a bunch of the old timers). Once you squeeze one of those you realize all the "great" triggers you though you had before are just... not quite there.

Oh and just about as good would be a K-22 masterpiece (obviously a rimfire), but getting an owner to let you touch it is about as easy as getting a basehead to give up the rock.

Prepping for the CCW course - Part 2: Gear

Now on to the fun stuff, the gear for the CCW course.

I'm taking the Yost customized Springfield Champion in my hip, in a Galco cop series high ride. I generally only use the Galco for classes and the range; because it's comfortable, but doesn't conceal all that well. I usually carry the Champion in a kydex IWB, or a Wilson Low-Profile (actually made by Rafter S, some of the best gunleather in the business. I have two of their belts and two mag pouches as well), both of which are excellent for concealment, but the course doesn't allow crossdraw, SOB, or IWB carry (I'm actually a fan of SOB carry as well, usually with an IWB or a belt slide, but it's entirely unsuitable for a training environment).

I was thinking about bringing the USP compact, which HK SWORE would be back to me by yesterday; it wasn't. It's a great carry piece, because even though it's thick through the slide, the shape doesn't print much at all, and it's VERY light (23oz unloaded vs. 34oz); plus the thing is almost as precise, and I'm alsmot as accurate with it, as the custom 1911 (and it damn well should be for the money they cost).

I'll bring my normal deep cover piece (a well worked over Kahr K9) as well, but it's really a 7 yard gun, and we'll be doing excercises at 15 yards. The thing groups fine from the bench out to 25 yards, but we'll be doing holster drills; and while I can make it group like a champ in speed drills at 7 yards (8 shots fast as I can control into a 4" circle, 5 shots slow into 2" or so), the sight radius is just too short, and the trigger is just too long (although I've smooooothed this thing up so it's like a nice light DA revolver pull) for fast and accurate shooting at 15 yards.

Oh and the wallyworld ammo was more expensive than the last time I bought it. $23.95 for 100rds of the 230gr Remington JHPs (talk about a flying ashtray). Also I think the Remingtons changed their specs from the last time I bought them, because although these chamber fine, they are a little long, and ejecting the unfired round is a bit tight. I used to have the same problem with the Golden Sabers whenever I tried them, but not the green and whites, now it seams they are loading to the same OAL, or the nose profile has changed, and they are hanging up on ejection. It won't be a problem when firing, but it might make clearance drills a PITA.

My normal diet is +P Gold Dots, or Glasers but I'm not spending $100 on the ammo for this class (or $300 if I were to fire all glasers). I've fired at least 1000 gold dots through this gun (I honestly dont know, probably more), I know how they feed, and how they shoot; I don't ned to train with them for that kind of money.

Actually that reminds me, I need to check out ammoman and see if he has the bulk boxes of Gold Dot .45 on sale again. I can usually pick up the 250rd boxes from either him, or the gun shows, for $45-$60 a pop when they are on sale (update: looks like he's still out).

As it is, I've got about 120 rds of the gold dot on hand, 40 Taurus copper expanders, 40 hydrashoks, 40 Cor-Bon +p+ (though they dont call it that, it's jsut REALLY hot +p, like 1050fps 230gr), about 40 glasers and magsafes, and 150 federal hardball, plus the 100 remington jsut picked up. That is literally the lowest I've been on .45 in two plus years.

I'm also down to about 500 9mm, 1300 5.56, and 800 7.62x51, also the lowest I've been in a year. Worse, I've only got 300 rounds of decent 5.56 left, which I keep loaded in mags in my AR's drag bag; the other case worth is Wolf. It is at least new Wolf, with the polymer not the lacquer, but that shit smells horrible, and it's the dirtiest gankiest ammo in the world. I swear to god they use Horse piss for their nitrates, and manure for their binder (which is actually one of the ways powder used to be made BTW).

I really need to set up my presses (I've got two orange crushers), and grab some components. I should probably pick up brass catchers for the AR and M14 as well. God knows how much good brass I've jsut left for the range to pick up over the years.

I've got all the dies I need, but I dont have a case tumbler, my scale is dead, and my powder measure is lost... and I dont have the cash to replace them. Maybe if I can get the watch, and the smith sold off... I've been lmiting my shooting lately because of the budget crunch, and I'm jsut not thrilled with that situation. My normal shooting routine is to burn 500 or so rounds a week, and I think I've only managed 500 rounds in the last six weeks.

Prepping for CCW course - Part 1: Legalese

While I take my Arizona CCW class this weekend, starting in about 3 hours actually, blogging will be a bit light. I'll be in the classrom and/or on the range from 8am til about 6pm for the next two days (oh poor me, I get 16 hours of gun immersion).

The current CCW issuance and course requirements are as follows:

E. The department of public safety shall issue a permit to an applicant who meets all of the following conditions:

1. Is a resident of this state or a United States citizen.

2. Is twenty-one years of age or older.

3. Is not under indictment for and has not been convicted in any jurisdiction of a felony.

4. Does not suffer from mental illness and has not been adjudicated mentally incompetent or committed to a mental institution.

5. Is not unlawfully present in the United States.

6. Satisfactorily completes a firearms safety training program approved by the department of public safety pursuant to subsection N of this section.

...

N. The department shall approve a program that meets the following requirements:

1. Is at least sixteen hours in length.

2. Is conducted on a pass or fail basis.

3. Addresses all of the following topics in a format approved by the director of the department:

(a) Legal issues relating to the use of deadly force.

(b) Weapon care and maintenance.

(c) Mental conditioning for the use of deadly force.

(d) Safe handling and storage of weapons.

(e) Marksmanship.

(f) Judgmental shooting.

4. Is conducted by instructors who submit to a background investigation, including a check for warrants and a criminal history record check.

The state doesnt actually directly specify the exact contents of the course, but they have a general syllabus that everyone has to teach at a minimum, and they approve each course individually. I actually think this is great, because it makes sure that everyone gets at least the same minimum training, but still allows instructors to improve on the basics, and really give useful knowledge, technique etc.. to their students. Check out the syllabus, it's really very good, though a lot of material to cover in two days.

On the completion of the course, each student is required to pass a qualification consisting of the following:

VIII. WRITTEN TEST

A. 30 questions, with a score of at least 70 percent, using any version of the AZ DPS standardized test (effective June 1, 2003).

B. Review and retest all incorrect answers until a final score of 100% is achieved. Retest(s) may be either written or verbal.

IX. QUALIFICATION

A. Minimum standard: At least 10 rounds with a firearm and live ammunition, no time limit (5 rds at 5 yards and 5 rds at 10 yards). Ammunition shall consist of a case, primer, powder and a lead or lead-jacketed bullet. Use of simulated, frangible, marking and/or rubber projectiles is prohibited. Qualification may consist of firing more rounds than the minimum standard at longer ranges than those given, at the discretion of the organization. Students should be drawing and firing from a holster they intend on using to carry their handgun with, but this is not mandatory.

B. NRA TQ-15, TQ-19 or equivalent, i.e., secondary scoring ring equal to 14 x 16, or less. Shots outside of the 2nd scoring ring will not count.

C. 70 percent hits within the secondary scoring ring are required for a passing score.

Which, although easy, is sufficient to ensure general firearms safety, which is EXACTLY what a CW qualification SHOULD be. Anyone who is reasonably competent with a firearm- enoguh to defend themselves without accidentally shooting someone else - should be able to pass it.

Actually, I say the tests are easy, but having helped conduct a few of the classes myself,, and having done some firearms instruction in general, you'd be amazed how many can't pass it. I don't want to deprive people of their right to defend themselves, but about 30% of all the people who take these courses fail the first time. If you fail the instructor will go over the tests with you again, and will allow you to reshoot after further instruction, about half of those who failed the first time, fail the second time, and there is no third time, you have to take the course again.

I'll be honest with you, if you can't pass this test on the second try, I really don't want you carrying a gun anywhere near me, or anyone else for that matter (including yourself).

I find the statistics of permit holders in this state heartening:

	Active	Suspended	Revoked
Permits	68,625	838	801
Instructors	1,396	168	28
Organizations	447	116	10

Though the number of INSTRUCTORS suspended or revoked is worrisome. Take a look at the full link, the numbers are interesting.

The DPS also publishes a handly little summary sheet of the gun laws in Arizona as they apply to permit holders. Especially important, the restrictions as to when and where you can and cannot carry:

GENERALLY, MISCONDUCT INVOLVING WEAPONS (13-3102.A.1 and A.2) DOES NOT APPLY TO:

• A deadly weapon which is immediately accessible and carried openly by a means that makes it obvious to a casual observer the person is carrying a deadly weapon ("open carry")

• A person in his home, on his business premises or on real property owned or leased by that person

• Within a means of transportation, a deadly weapon that is not immediately accessible or if it is clearly visible to a casual observer or if it is carried in a container that makes it obvious the person is transporting a deadly weapon

• A pocketknife (a folding knife with a blade less than 4 inches)

• A peace officer or any person summoned by any peace officer to assist while actually in the performance of official duties

• A warden, deputy warden or correctional officer of the state department of corrections

• A member of the military forces of the United States or of any state of the United States in the performance of official duties

• A person specifically licensed, authorized or permitted (ccw permit) pursuant to a statute of this state or of the United States. Permit holders are subject to the below listed restrictions

FIREARMS ARE PROHIBITED OR RESTRICTED IN THE FOLLOWING PLACES (with or without a permit)

• Businesses serving alcohol for consumption on the premises (peace officers are excepted)

• Polling places on election days (peace officers are excepted)

• School grounds (some exceptions – see below) (peace officers are excepted)

• Commercial nuclear & hydroelectric generating stations (peace officers are excepted)

• Military installations (peace officers are limited)

• Indian reservations (check w/tribe, peace officers are limited)

• Game preserves (peace officers are limited)

• National parks (peace officers are limited)

• Correctional facilities

• Federal buildings (peace officers are limited)

• Airports (in or beyond security checkpoints) (peace officers are limited)

• Where federal, state or local laws prohibit weapons (peace officers are limited)

• State or local government/private establishments or events when asked by the operator/sponsor/agent.

There are currently bills in the legislature to allow carry onto school property by CCW holders (looks like that ones going to fail), and in restaraunts and possibly bars so long as the CCW holder doesnt drink (looks like that ones going to pass).

I was an AZ CCW holder before, but I left thr country for a few years. Technically speaking when you leae the state for more than six months they revoike your CCW... if you report you left, which I didn't, but mine expired last April anyway. They give you six months to renew it, which takes a 4 hour course and the renewal fee ($65), but at the time I was way too busy, and then by the time I wasn't I was way to broke.

So I have been sans CCW since October; not exactly the ideal situation. Now, I'm one of those folks who doesn't believe the state has a right to restrict you ability to defend yourself, and I practice my beliefs every day; but avoiding a felony conviction is fairly high on my list of priorities. My father is a multiple felon, and I already have enough problems with him having the same name as I do (he's the 3rd, I'm the fourth, and most systems truncate everything over the third, so it's a MAJOR pain in the ass).

Oh and there is one other benefit to having an AZ CCW; no NICS. That in and of itself is worth the hassle, because as I said; my father, who has the same name as I do, is a multiple felon. This causes me to get delayed on my NICS periodically when some genius forgets to check, and/or mis enters my birthdate or SSN

I was originally going to wait until the AZ legislature passed its revised concealed carry bill, extending the term of the license (from 4 years to ... however long gets passed; it was originally for life, but now it looks like its going to be either 5 or 10 years), and reducing the training requirement to 8 hours; but I have the $50 off deal, and I was tired of waiting.

Besides, it's a chance to shoot under the care and feeding of professionals (good ones, not some bullshit instructor from the local gun club who's shot less in his lifetime than I do in a good month). Near as I can tell there's only going to be a couple of us in the class, so we may be able to get something useful done.

Ugliest Modern Gun Contest

Ok guys, time for a little reader poll,

Everyone submit their suggestions (and links to pics if its an uncommon model) for what the ugliest gun to ever see mass production was/is.

So far we've got someone saying the Astra Auto. My personal choice is the FN-P90, and the Heartless lIbertarian is going with the HKG11, but I'm disqualifying that because it wasnt a real production gun(otherwise it'd be my cgoice as well).

The SA80 and the Steyr AUG have to be in there somewhere.

So groundrules:

1. the gun must have seen full production, and will be judged in production trim, by design not by finish quality (no rooneyd up guns, they're ALL ugly, and a bad finish can uglify ANY gun)
2. The gun must be a modern cartridge firearm (caseless allowed)
3. The gun must be FUGLY

Suggestions due by next friday, and we'll judge the winner (er... loser?) by general acclamation.

Blogging ist Licht heute

Because I'll be spending most of the day watching the Red Sox kick the crap out of the Diamondbacks.

Oh and buying ammo for my class this weekend. I fell below 500 rounds of .45 for the first time in years, and I dont have the reloading rig set up, so it's off to wally world for the Remington white/greeb box hollowpoints (I prefer to practice wtih HP's when the price is reasonable; $20 for a box of 100 qualifies)

All in all, a good way to spend a day I'd say.

The funny thing is, I hate baseball on TV (and golf... golf is like baseball without the beer or hot dogs), but man I love going to a game.

For any of you familiar with Bank Once ballpark we're in section 113 row 6, just along the fisrt base line, about even with the right fielder.

Some Semi-Random Quotes and Maxims

Keep It Simple Stupid.

Good, Fast, Cheap; pick two.

Do not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

Never let someone who says it cannot be done interrupt the person who is
doing it.

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T out to get you.

It's not whether your paranoid, it's whether you're paranoid enough.

"Fear is overrated as a deterrent; death works better." -- Chris Byrne

"The eyes may be the windows on the soul
But the word is the doorway to the mind"
--Chris Byrne

"Why is it that the three least common virtues are common courtesy,
common decency, and common sense" -- Chris Byrne

"The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity."
-- Harlan Ellison

"Most people want either less corruption or more of a chance to
participate in it." -- H.L. Mencken

"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors." -Plato

"The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians
who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool
all of the people all of the time." -- Franklin Adams

"A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed." -- John Steinbeck

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." -- George Bernard Shaw

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." -George Orwell.

"The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it." --George Orwell

"War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory." -- Clemenceau

"Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events." --Winston Churchill

"Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence."-- Napoleon Bonaparte

"Never Interrupt your enemy while he is making a mistake" -- Napoleon Bonaparte

"Victory belongs to the most persevering." -- Napoleon Bonaparte

"It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it." -- Robert E. Lee

"The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving." -- Ulysses S. Grant

"No man becomes a hero by dying for his country; he becomes a hero by making some other poor bastard die for his"

"There is only one tactical principle which is not subject to change. It is to use the means at hand to inflict the maximum amount of wound, death, and destruction on the enemy in the minimum amount of time."

"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer."

"Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men."

"If a man does his best, what else is there."

"If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking."

--All from George S. Patton

"Probably it does not matter, but "terror" is an unsatisfactory adversary, since it is a mental condition rather than a tangible foe. You cannot fight against "terror," since you cannot shoot it or sink it in the sea. In addition, terror is an undignified emotion. Young men should be conditioned to rise above fear at the earliest possible age, and to the extent that this happens, they cannot be terrorized. Nobody likes to look right into the cannon's mouth, but he need not squeal about it. George Patton had some very good things to say on this subject. Nobody is immune from fear, but nobody should let fear affect his conduct."
-- Jeff Cooper

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.
A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight; nothing he cares about more than his own personal safety; is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."
-- John Stuart Mill

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." -- Theodore Roosevelt

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

"If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom;
and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it will lose that, too."
-- W. Somerset Maugham

"Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!" -- Patrick Henry

"We make war that we may live in peace." --Aristotle

"Let him who desires peace prepare for war." --Flavius Vegetius Renatus

"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." - John F. Kennedy

"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice." -- Baruch Spinoza

"The name of peace is sweet, and the thing itself is beneficial, but there is a great difference between peace and servitude. Peace is freedom in tranquillity, servitude is the worst of all evils, to be resisted not only by war, but even by death." -- Cicero

"You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it." -- Malcom X

"If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarantee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors. There is no other." -- Carl Schurz

"In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." --George Bernard Shaw

"Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end." -- Lord Acton

"These are the times that try men's souls: The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it Now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict the more glorius the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated." -- The Crisis; Thomas Paine

"The peace of heaven is theirs that lift their swords, in such a just an charitable war." -- King John; William Shakespeare

"Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, it seems to me most strange that men should fear; Seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come". -- Julius Caesar; William Shakespeare

"This day is called the feast of Crispin.

He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named, and rouse him at the name of Crispin.

He that shall live this day, and see old age, will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, and say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispin:'

Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, and say 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.'

Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot, but he'll remember with advantages what feats he did that day:

Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words,
Harry the king,
Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot,
Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.

This story shall the good man teach his son;

And Crispin Crispin shall ne'er go by, from this day to the ending of the world, but we in it shall be remember'd;
We few,
we happy few,
we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother;
be he ne'er so vile,this day shall gentle his condition:

And gentlemen in England now a-bed shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap
whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day." -- Henry V; William Shakespeare